What's That Smell? It's a MINK Roast!
Distinguished guests, brothers and sisters, ladies and gentlemen, friends and ... enemies - I'm pleased to kick off the 4th VideoSift Roast. Our guest of honor this evening is everyone's favorite cynical rodent dj, MINK.
Simultaneously claiming to live in a fictional country and have an English background, one can never be sure just what MINK will write next. Whatever tripe spews from his Soviet-era teletype, though, it is bound to be laced with half-truths, personal attacks on admins, and occasional leftist comments worthy of Lenin. And though at first glance one might think MINK would love to see a planet crisscrossed with nothing but light rail lines and bus lanes, he is obviously a closet capitalist. I offer his avatar as exhibit A, the EP of a one hit wonder he hopes to mimic. Beyond that, his continual anti-american, anti-capitalist stance is reminiscent of the kind self-loathing only a gay republican senator could muster.
Perhaps with a little help from his "friends", he'll be able to accept his true self and join us all in a debauched, drunken feast of bacon, burgers, and hot-dogs that would make McCarthy proud.
Before I hand things over to the mob, MINK has asked to make some opening remarks:
--------------------
I am not accustomed to the tradition of "roasting".
Where I come from, a "roast" is a tortured and sickly bird, stuffed with antibiotics throughout its miserable life, plucked, frozen, and then shoved in an oven.
I was relieved to hear that this is not the way a Sift Roast is carried out.
However, I am still confused, because dotdude explained to me that a roast is where friends gather round and poke fun at one of their company, and honestly, pretty much none of you are my friends. Not even on myspace.
Anyway I look forward to reading what the five people I kinda care about have to say about me, and I hope the rest of you enjoy converting your hippydippy passive aggression into honest unfiltered words, just this once. Get it all out. Gooood. There ya go.
I will be inspecting your queues, but if I downvote your whole collection, please be assured it is purely because all your videos are shit and I don't like them.
If I enjoy the roast I will be revealing a little more about my actual real self, and providing a musical finale of my own creation.
May the farce be with you!
--------------------
Now with the grill all nice and hot, I'll hand off the poker to everyone's favorite bastard, I mean baster, Choggie.
Simultaneously claiming to live in a fictional country and have an English background, one can never be sure just what MINK will write next. Whatever tripe spews from his Soviet-era teletype, though, it is bound to be laced with half-truths, personal attacks on admins, and occasional leftist comments worthy of Lenin. And though at first glance one might think MINK would love to see a planet crisscrossed with nothing but light rail lines and bus lanes, he is obviously a closet capitalist. I offer his avatar as exhibit A, the EP of a one hit wonder he hopes to mimic. Beyond that, his continual anti-american, anti-capitalist stance is reminiscent of the kind self-loathing only a gay republican senator could muster.
Perhaps with a little help from his "friends", he'll be able to accept his true self and join us all in a debauched, drunken feast of bacon, burgers, and hot-dogs that would make McCarthy proud.
Before I hand things over to the mob, MINK has asked to make some opening remarks:
--------------------
I am not accustomed to the tradition of "roasting".
Where I come from, a "roast" is a tortured and sickly bird, stuffed with antibiotics throughout its miserable life, plucked, frozen, and then shoved in an oven.
I was relieved to hear that this is not the way a Sift Roast is carried out.
However, I am still confused, because dotdude explained to me that a roast is where friends gather round and poke fun at one of their company, and honestly, pretty much none of you are my friends. Not even on myspace.
Anyway I look forward to reading what the five people I kinda care about have to say about me, and I hope the rest of you enjoy converting your hippydippy passive aggression into honest unfiltered words, just this once. Get it all out. Gooood. There ya go.
I will be inspecting your queues, but if I downvote your whole collection, please be assured it is purely because all your videos are shit and I don't like them.
If I enjoy the roast I will be revealing a little more about my actual real self, and providing a musical finale of my own creation.
May the farce be with you!
--------------------
Now with the grill all nice and hot, I'll hand off the poker to everyone's favorite bastard, I mean baster, Choggie.
Load Comments...
Discuss...
Enable JavaScript to submit a comment.