Taco Bell Launches New 'Morning After' Burrito
"Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. 'In the past, before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to 'make a run for the border' to terminate an unwanted pregnancy,' Taco Bell public relations director Grant Lesko said. 'But now, women can make that same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right in their own hometowns.'"
"'We are in no way advocating any particular view on this most sensitive of issues,' he said. 'We simply want to offer this option. And, of course, we fully respect our customers who decide to carry their babies to term. In fact, I'd like to point out that Taco Bell offers a wide variety of non-contraceptive menu items that can provide the crucial nutrients—such as mild sauce, shredded cheddar and beef—that a growing fetus needs to develop properly.'"
"Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. 'In the past, before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to 'make a run for the border' to terminate an unwanted pregnancy,' Taco Bell public relations director Grant Lesko said. 'But now, women can make that same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right in their own hometowns.'"
"'We are in no way advocating any particular view on this most sensitive of issues,' he said. 'We simply want to offer this option. And, of course, we fully respect our customers who decide to carry their babies to term. In fact, I'd like to point out that Taco Bell offers a wide variety of non-contraceptive menu items that can provide the crucial nutrients—such as mild sauce, shredded cheddar and beef—that a growing fetus needs to develop properly.'"
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/debunking-ewok-myth.php
Debunking the Ewok Myth
While ewoks are often mawkishly portrayed on film as cute, curious little urchins that live in tree houses and coo adorably, the reality of wild ewoks is an entirely different story. I live near the redwood forests of Northern California, so I’ve been around ewoks all my life; every hike, picnic, or camping trip I’ve ever been on has been marred by their unwelcome presence.
Are ewoks cute? Not at all. That’s pure Hollywood magic. In fact, ewoks are some of the most disgusting wild animals in North America. The dandy little chaps you’ve seen on the silver screen are just midgets in ewok suits; real ewoks don’t have smooth, clean fur, and no sane human would be inclined to pet one. They’re so plagued by lice, fleas, dander and mange that their coats are spotted with huge bald patches and pocked with weeping sores. Touching one would likely net you a fistful of loose fur, matted with pus and crawling with ticks.