Blankfist roasting on an open fire
In true blankfist fashion, this roast blows its wad early...
I suppose some of you know this "person", who's been luring our kids off the internet and made things way too real for them. He's a web-developer, but he won't dare show his work a.k.a it sucks. He's got a lovely cat named Maceo, whose kidney's have failed because it licked peanut butter off somewhere.
Blankfist has been around for a long while, but no one has really cared. A strong supporter of the Obama administration, he's welcomed the conversion to statism lately. Good for him that the government is paying all his bills now, since his work is sheit.
He seems to be overly focused on sex, clearly compensating for something, but I wouldn't know. Must be because he's getting old and wrinkled.
If you want to know something more about her, check out the questionnaire on http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Blankfist-is-on-the-spit-ready-for-roasting-on-monday or below.
What do you do when you are not at the computer?
File restraining orders against gwiz665 for being a creepy stalker.
What is your favorite of your posted videos?
It's a toss up between http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Flatulating-Bunny and http://www.videosift.com/video/Noooo
What is your favorite video on videosift?
Who knows? I really like this one: http://www.videosift.com/video/Doug-Stanhope-on-Nationalism
How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?
Geez. I've gone through so many. Mainly Kubrick variants. I'm digging the new Statue of Liberty with the taser.
What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?
Crane's Inanities. http://cranesinanities.blogspot.com/
Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?
Boxers. Some of them worn down to nothing more than threads and elastic. My girlfriend actually has to goad me into throwing them away when my balls start peeking out like 'Kilroy Was Here'.
What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?
Probably close to 4:1 or 5:1. That's with a higher percentage of boxers to shoes, obviously.
Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?
Debilitating illness.
What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?
I don't care for sweets too often, but when I do get that urge I like toffee bars. There's an awesome Mario Batali place here in LA called Pizzeria Mozza that has a kick ass meyer lemon gelato pie with candied lemon zest and Champagne vinegar sauce. As far as my favorite "spice" it has to be anything spicy. I like peppers on everything.
Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?
Every bit of that. I love all women types and all woman parts.
What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).
Maceo is my full bred Oriental Shorthair with chronic renal failure. Here's his album on photobucket: http://s259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/blankfist/Maceo/
Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?
There are some in the Maceo photo album above.
What is your most frequented source of news?
I don't have one source of news. But, I do listen to freetalklive.com's podcasts while I work.
What is your beverage (poison) of choice?
Depends. When I'm dieting I drink wine. I love a good bottle of wine. A good California Zin or Syrah from Santa Ynez is incredible. When I'm not dieting, I also enjoy a good beer. A Blue Moon sans orange. A red ale can be perfection.
Have you ever been arrested?
Yep. Two DUIs. I've also been arrested for disorderly conduct (you know, that catch-all charge) for fucking a chick in a jacuzzi at Myrtle Beach. She also had a twin sister. Banged her, too. I'm a class act.
What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?
Eye contact followed up by crazy eyes.
How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?
Not balding. I have a full, thick hair.
Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?
I do want a burly, porn star mustache, but I'm clean shaven. I typically shave once a week, so a scruffy face is typical.
List your five most cherished possessions.
The Story of the Three Bibles: a history of my great great grandfather working in the oppressive southern mill towns. Amazing Fantasy #15 signed by Stan Lee. A 6 foot x 5 foot lithographic poster for Spider-Man 2 I framed and have hanging in my bedroom (nerd alert). My first film. A 1980s hot pink Powell Peralta Sword and Skull skateboard.
What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?
Protestant. Southern Baptist and Presbyterian.
What about now?
Atheist.
What is your favorite memory?
My second year of film school. Having my short film win the audience vote. That was a good day for me. Oh, and having sex with that high school cheerleader and watching her walk across the room while back lit by the TV was a nice memory too.
What was your favorite childhood television show?
Scooby Doo, probably.
How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?
I'm rather unpretentious. I like simply button ups and t-shirts and jeans.
Who is your favorite Sift Hero?
Is there such a thing? Well, in that case, I really appreciate KP and DFT and Issy. http://www.videosift.com/member/nerbula
What goal do you have while a Videosift member?
To never downvote a video since the Siftopocalypse.
Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?
All three. If you make me chuckle, you'll most likely get an upvote. Or if I find your political perspective agreeable.
Are you a lover or a fighter?
When I'm drunk, I'm a fighter. When I'm sober, I'm a lover.
Who do you respect the most on videosift?
I respect jonny a lot. Where is that dirty bastard?
Do you consider yourself emotional?
Sometimes. I fight it. I can be a very passionate person, but I spend a great deal of energy trying to overcome my passion and be more insightful and use reason to make decisions whenever possible. I live in fear like anyone else, but I don't let it cripple me.
Do you feel you are the same in real life and on videosift?
Haha. Pretty much. I'm a real harasshole.
Approximate the percentage of time you work and you play on a computer.
I work on the computer, so I play and work 24/7.
If you had a time machine would you travel to an era in the past or future? Explain.
Tertiary Period. Who doesn't want to watch the rise of the mammals? And those prehistoric birds, like the diatryma, are amazing! But, if I could go back in time and be young again? Well, that would be splendid. I had an awesome childhood.
If you could choose your own way of death, what would it be?
Death by holding my pee.
What is your favorite kind of food?
Cheese.
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Drawing comics on folded notebook paper with my best friend. Also drawing mazes and creating games on paper.
What is your most sacred personal rant?
The one I do every day.
What is your favorite color?
Blue.
What three sites do you visit most often?
Videosift. email. facebook. Is there really anything else to do online? Seriously?
If you had one super human power, what would it be? Which ability would you be least likely to choose?
I dig Wolverine's claws, but then flying would be a bitch because you couldn't go through the metal detectors. I'm also a big fan of Spider-Man, so web swinging would be cool, too. Yeah, I'd probably pick that one. I'd be least likely to choose the power of AIDS.
What are your experiences with Mac OS, Windows, and Linux? Which do you use now?
I use both Mac and PC. Depends on what I'm doing.
Name five hot celebrities you wish to see nude.
Jessica Alba. Mila Kunis. Evangeline Lilly. Keira Knightley. Anne Hathaway. Megan Fox. Wait, how many was that?
How do you feel when it comes to extreme preachers of religion? What would you say to one if they came up to you in the street?
I don't care for them, but I probably would just ignore them.
If you were going to be arrested and imprisoned for 20 years no matter what you did, what would you do to go out with a bang ( or without one )?
I'd probably figure out a way to leave the country. And, no matter what Hollywood tells you, the Mexican border is probably the worst place to go.
If every illegal activity were to be made legal for one day, what would you do on that day? Pillage, thieve, sit on your couch and watch banned TV shows, what?
I'd probably drink a beer while driving or something tame like that. I think most people would remain rather tame and well behaved.
How do you feel about the different kinds of body art (piercings, tattoos, scars, etc)?
I think they're fine.
How were you introduced to video games? What was the first game you played?
My dad had a crappy home console system from the 70s that basically had pong. It was awesome, but also crappy. I used to go to arcades a lot growing up. I loved Mat Mania and Legend of Kage - both from the 80s.
What are ten of your interests/hobbies?
Drinking. Fucking. Writing. Filmmaking. Watching movies. Jousting. Rape. Is that ten?
What is your favorite memory as a teenager?
Sex. Such wonderful, wonderful moments.
List up to five movies you really like.
In the Name of the Father. Star Wars. 2001. Full Metal Jacket. Robocop.
List five movies you really hate.
Practical Magic. There can be only one worthy of my hate.
Why have you stuck with the sift for so long? Is there anything that has made you consider leaving the site?
I don't know why I'm still here. I am completely fringe when it comes to my politics, so I cannot answer that. I have wanted to leave. Mostly because I tire of debating NetRunner.
Why do you upvote/downvote comments?
I upvote because I agree with them or find them funny. I downvote to piss burdturgler off.
What made you pick blankfist as a username?
It means empty fight. It's a name of peace. Nah, just playing, I just slapped those two words together back in 98 and the rest was history.
What are you afraid of?
People who are afraid of people.
Who are the Legion of Douche?
Lex Luthor2000
Gorilla Groddirt
MINKestro
Mauzzaro
And once, Solomon Jonny tried to join.
Cats, or dogs?
Both.
When it comes to music, what are your tastes?
Rock wins most of the time. I love being nostalgic, though, so I'll listen to the cheesiest hair metal such as Slaughter and fucking love it.
Are you a habitual cross-dresser? Ever flirted with it and worn ladies clothes of any kind?
Just panties. Hey, I'm trying to emulate Ed Wood.
What would your last meal, if you could plan ahead, look like?
Pussy.
If you could buy a single item, of any choice, which would it be?
Mena Suvari's breasts.
If you could have someone assassinated today, who would it be and why (if anyone)?
No one. I try to not endorse violence.
Who is your enemy?
Statists who think the majority should tell the minority what to do.
Who is your best friend/sifter?
My girlfriend is my best friend. As far as sifters, that would probably be KP or DFT.... or choggie.
You used to be a military man, did you not? What did you do? Why not anymore?
I did. Was in the US Navy long enough to get them awesome government benefits and then I bailed. I was a Radioman: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioman. Essentially that's communications, and believe it or not I used to have a Top Secret security clearance. Why not anymore? Have you noticed my personality is not one of following orders? I was a not a good fit.
Any injuries a.k.a "weak spots"?
I broke my right hand just at my pinkie knuckle. I had my big toenail removed in the military and that damn thing never grew back right. My balls are weak.
State secrets to divulge?
State secrets? No, I try to not get involved with the business of the state.
You're a web developer nowadays, care to show your work?
I am hesitant, because if a client found these links on google and followed it back to this vile roast, that would most likely not be a good thing.
If you were running for president, what would be your talking points? Which issues are important to you?
Obviously I'd run on a pro-liberty, classic liberal platform. I'd ask people to vote for me if they believe in trusting their neighbor's right to choose his own destiny without coercion. I'd also promise to make Noam Chomsky likeness the new welcome mat at the White House.
Which of your PQ'ed videos has been most unfairly neglected?
All of them! Go upvote them all! I have 163 videos in there! Help a brother out. I thought this one was funny and was surprised it only got 2 votes: http://www.videosift.com/video/Hollywood-Pitch-of-Time-Dragons
Which sift-geists (fads on the sift) have you loved/hated?
I loved it when Siftbot was punk and had that mohawk thing with the early Bowie paint on his face. I didn't like it when he went grunge, though, because metal cylinders don't look good in flannel - it just made him look like an asshole.
When and why did you join videosift? Instant poster or did you lurk first?
Member since 2007-07-04. I lurked for a year maybe before that?
Do note that if you participate in this roast, your name will be thrown into the hat and might be picked for the next roast.. ye be warned
I suppose some of you know this "person", who's been luring our kids off the internet and made things way too real for them. He's a web-developer, but he won't dare show his work a.k.a it sucks. He's got a lovely cat named Maceo, whose kidney's have failed because it licked peanut butter off somewhere.
Blankfist has been around for a long while, but no one has really cared. A strong supporter of the Obama administration, he's welcomed the conversion to statism lately. Good for him that the government is paying all his bills now, since his work is sheit.
He seems to be overly focused on sex, clearly compensating for something, but I wouldn't know. Must be because he's getting old and wrinkled.
If you want to know something more about her, check out the questionnaire on http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Blankfist-is-on-the-spit-ready-for-roasting-on-monday or below.
What do you do when you are not at the computer?
File restraining orders against gwiz665 for being a creepy stalker.
What is your favorite of your posted videos?
It's a toss up between http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Flatulating-Bunny and http://www.videosift.com/video/Noooo
What is your favorite video on videosift?
Who knows? I really like this one: http://www.videosift.com/video/Doug-Stanhope-on-Nationalism
How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?
Geez. I've gone through so many. Mainly Kubrick variants. I'm digging the new Statue of Liberty with the taser.
What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?
Crane's Inanities. http://cranesinanities.blogspot.com/
Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?
Boxers. Some of them worn down to nothing more than threads and elastic. My girlfriend actually has to goad me into throwing them away when my balls start peeking out like 'Kilroy Was Here'.
What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?
Probably close to 4:1 or 5:1. That's with a higher percentage of boxers to shoes, obviously.
Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?
Debilitating illness.
What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?
I don't care for sweets too often, but when I do get that urge I like toffee bars. There's an awesome Mario Batali place here in LA called Pizzeria Mozza that has a kick ass meyer lemon gelato pie with candied lemon zest and Champagne vinegar sauce. As far as my favorite "spice" it has to be anything spicy. I like peppers on everything.
Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?
Every bit of that. I love all women types and all woman parts.
What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).
Maceo is my full bred Oriental Shorthair with chronic renal failure. Here's his album on photobucket: http://s259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/blankfist/Maceo/
Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?
There are some in the Maceo photo album above.
What is your most frequented source of news?
I don't have one source of news. But, I do listen to freetalklive.com's podcasts while I work.
What is your beverage (poison) of choice?
Depends. When I'm dieting I drink wine. I love a good bottle of wine. A good California Zin or Syrah from Santa Ynez is incredible. When I'm not dieting, I also enjoy a good beer. A Blue Moon sans orange. A red ale can be perfection.
Have you ever been arrested?
Yep. Two DUIs. I've also been arrested for disorderly conduct (you know, that catch-all charge) for fucking a chick in a jacuzzi at Myrtle Beach. She also had a twin sister. Banged her, too. I'm a class act.
What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?
Eye contact followed up by crazy eyes.
How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?
Not balding. I have a full, thick hair.
Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?
I do want a burly, porn star mustache, but I'm clean shaven. I typically shave once a week, so a scruffy face is typical.
List your five most cherished possessions.
The Story of the Three Bibles: a history of my great great grandfather working in the oppressive southern mill towns. Amazing Fantasy #15 signed by Stan Lee. A 6 foot x 5 foot lithographic poster for Spider-Man 2 I framed and have hanging in my bedroom (nerd alert). My first film. A 1980s hot pink Powell Peralta Sword and Skull skateboard.
What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?
Protestant. Southern Baptist and Presbyterian.
What about now?
Atheist.
What is your favorite memory?
My second year of film school. Having my short film win the audience vote. That was a good day for me. Oh, and having sex with that high school cheerleader and watching her walk across the room while back lit by the TV was a nice memory too.
What was your favorite childhood television show?
Scooby Doo, probably.
How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?
I'm rather unpretentious. I like simply button ups and t-shirts and jeans.
Who is your favorite Sift Hero?
Is there such a thing? Well, in that case, I really appreciate KP and DFT and Issy. http://www.videosift.com/member/nerbula
What goal do you have while a Videosift member?
To never downvote a video since the Siftopocalypse.
Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?
All three. If you make me chuckle, you'll most likely get an upvote. Or if I find your political perspective agreeable.
Are you a lover or a fighter?
When I'm drunk, I'm a fighter. When I'm sober, I'm a lover.
Who do you respect the most on videosift?
I respect jonny a lot. Where is that dirty bastard?
Do you consider yourself emotional?
Sometimes. I fight it. I can be a very passionate person, but I spend a great deal of energy trying to overcome my passion and be more insightful and use reason to make decisions whenever possible. I live in fear like anyone else, but I don't let it cripple me.
Do you feel you are the same in real life and on videosift?
Haha. Pretty much. I'm a real harasshole.
Approximate the percentage of time you work and you play on a computer.
I work on the computer, so I play and work 24/7.
If you had a time machine would you travel to an era in the past or future? Explain.
Tertiary Period. Who doesn't want to watch the rise of the mammals? And those prehistoric birds, like the diatryma, are amazing! But, if I could go back in time and be young again? Well, that would be splendid. I had an awesome childhood.
If you could choose your own way of death, what would it be?
Death by holding my pee.
What is your favorite kind of food?
Cheese.
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Drawing comics on folded notebook paper with my best friend. Also drawing mazes and creating games on paper.
What is your most sacred personal rant?
The one I do every day.
What is your favorite color?
Blue.
What three sites do you visit most often?
Videosift. email. facebook. Is there really anything else to do online? Seriously?
If you had one super human power, what would it be? Which ability would you be least likely to choose?
I dig Wolverine's claws, but then flying would be a bitch because you couldn't go through the metal detectors. I'm also a big fan of Spider-Man, so web swinging would be cool, too. Yeah, I'd probably pick that one. I'd be least likely to choose the power of AIDS.
What are your experiences with Mac OS, Windows, and Linux? Which do you use now?
I use both Mac and PC. Depends on what I'm doing.
Name five hot celebrities you wish to see nude.
Jessica Alba. Mila Kunis. Evangeline Lilly. Keira Knightley. Anne Hathaway. Megan Fox. Wait, how many was that?
How do you feel when it comes to extreme preachers of religion? What would you say to one if they came up to you in the street?
I don't care for them, but I probably would just ignore them.
If you were going to be arrested and imprisoned for 20 years no matter what you did, what would you do to go out with a bang ( or without one )?
I'd probably figure out a way to leave the country. And, no matter what Hollywood tells you, the Mexican border is probably the worst place to go.
If every illegal activity were to be made legal for one day, what would you do on that day? Pillage, thieve, sit on your couch and watch banned TV shows, what?
I'd probably drink a beer while driving or something tame like that. I think most people would remain rather tame and well behaved.
How do you feel about the different kinds of body art (piercings, tattoos, scars, etc)?
I think they're fine.
How were you introduced to video games? What was the first game you played?
My dad had a crappy home console system from the 70s that basically had pong. It was awesome, but also crappy. I used to go to arcades a lot growing up. I loved Mat Mania and Legend of Kage - both from the 80s.
What are ten of your interests/hobbies?
Drinking. Fucking. Writing. Filmmaking. Watching movies. Jousting. Rape. Is that ten?
What is your favorite memory as a teenager?
Sex. Such wonderful, wonderful moments.
List up to five movies you really like.
In the Name of the Father. Star Wars. 2001. Full Metal Jacket. Robocop.
List five movies you really hate.
Practical Magic. There can be only one worthy of my hate.
Why have you stuck with the sift for so long? Is there anything that has made you consider leaving the site?
I don't know why I'm still here. I am completely fringe when it comes to my politics, so I cannot answer that. I have wanted to leave. Mostly because I tire of debating NetRunner.
Why do you upvote/downvote comments?
I upvote because I agree with them or find them funny. I downvote to piss burdturgler off.
What made you pick blankfist as a username?
It means empty fight. It's a name of peace. Nah, just playing, I just slapped those two words together back in 98 and the rest was history.
What are you afraid of?
People who are afraid of people.
Who are the Legion of Douche?
Lex Luthor2000
Gorilla Groddirt
MINKestro
Mauzzaro
And once, Solomon Jonny tried to join.
Cats, or dogs?
Both.
When it comes to music, what are your tastes?
Rock wins most of the time. I love being nostalgic, though, so I'll listen to the cheesiest hair metal such as Slaughter and fucking love it.
Are you a habitual cross-dresser? Ever flirted with it and worn ladies clothes of any kind?
Just panties. Hey, I'm trying to emulate Ed Wood.
What would your last meal, if you could plan ahead, look like?
Pussy.
If you could buy a single item, of any choice, which would it be?
Mena Suvari's breasts.
If you could have someone assassinated today, who would it be and why (if anyone)?
No one. I try to not endorse violence.
Who is your enemy?
Statists who think the majority should tell the minority what to do.
Who is your best friend/sifter?
My girlfriend is my best friend. As far as sifters, that would probably be KP or DFT.... or choggie.
You used to be a military man, did you not? What did you do? Why not anymore?
I did. Was in the US Navy long enough to get them awesome government benefits and then I bailed. I was a Radioman: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioman. Essentially that's communications, and believe it or not I used to have a Top Secret security clearance. Why not anymore? Have you noticed my personality is not one of following orders? I was a not a good fit.
Any injuries a.k.a "weak spots"?
I broke my right hand just at my pinkie knuckle. I had my big toenail removed in the military and that damn thing never grew back right. My balls are weak.
State secrets to divulge?
State secrets? No, I try to not get involved with the business of the state.
You're a web developer nowadays, care to show your work?
I am hesitant, because if a client found these links on google and followed it back to this vile roast, that would most likely not be a good thing.
If you were running for president, what would be your talking points? Which issues are important to you?
Obviously I'd run on a pro-liberty, classic liberal platform. I'd ask people to vote for me if they believe in trusting their neighbor's right to choose his own destiny without coercion. I'd also promise to make Noam Chomsky likeness the new welcome mat at the White House.
Which of your PQ'ed videos has been most unfairly neglected?
All of them! Go upvote them all! I have 163 videos in there! Help a brother out. I thought this one was funny and was surprised it only got 2 votes: http://www.videosift.com/video/Hollywood-Pitch-of-Time-Dragons
Which sift-geists (fads on the sift) have you loved/hated?
I loved it when Siftbot was punk and had that mohawk thing with the early Bowie paint on his face. I didn't like it when he went grunge, though, because metal cylinders don't look good in flannel - it just made him look like an asshole.
When and why did you join videosift? Instant poster or did you lurk first?
Member since 2007-07-04. I lurked for a year maybe before that?
Do note that if you participate in this roast, your name will be thrown into the hat and might be picked for the next roast.. ye be warned
75 Comments
gwiz665*sticky
siftbotStickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by gwiz665.
burdturglerIs it Monday already? Fuck .. I haven't even started drinking for Sunday yet.
I'll come back later.
Really shitty launching this early. Look at me! I'm special! I got selected by a random dice roll and couldn't wait to share it with you all!
You suck almost as much as blankfist. But I'll get to that later.
randomizeNo traffic, huh?
penis
EDDSo gwiz, you went and blew your wad early "in true blankfist fashion", eh? So which is it - 'like father, like son'? Or is it just stuff that rubs off in between lovers? (for fuck's sake, don't answer that!) In any case, congratulations on killing the last chance you ever had for getting pussy by suggesting the two of you have got something going on - there are just some stains that can never be scrubbed off... *shudders*
Anyway, forget about that creepy stalker - we have a public masturbator/rapist to discuss.
blankfist. I'd begin with "The man. The legend" but the scientific community hasn't reached a consensus on the former statement, although that doesn't mean her prostate isn't pumping in anticipation. Let me just say that this was the only time I ever laughed at a comment of yours, blankfist. I think you are a lot funnier when you stick with what you know best, which is zoophilia.
Unfortunately I can't stay and chat at the moment; it's an effort not giving in to suicide because of the strain of horrific memories associated with you, but I think you'll enjoy this *quality video I submitted for you.
siftbotAwarding gwiz665 with one star point for this contribution to VideoSift - declared quality by EDD.
burdturgler>> ^randomize:
No traffic, huh?...
Well, when the questions sound like they were asked by a 12 year old girl ("who is your enemy?") it makes it tough but, gwiz gets roasted enough by real life without my intervention. In any event, I'm glad he found the courage to push imstellar out of the way for a few moments so he could suck on blankfist's nuts directly.
burdturglerIs that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?
Boxers. Some of them worn down to nothing more than threads and elastic. My girlfriend actually has to goad me into throwing them away when my balls start peeking out like 'Kilroy Was Here'.
This was the best question. Really brings home that whole atmosphere of you feeding gwiz fondue while he pours you another zinfadel. I'm kind of wondering though, do you have a penis? Because, speaking as a man .. my dick sticks out further than my balls. You're the only guy I know who wears boxers to avoid camel toe.
gwiz665Don't blame the questions!
>> ^burdturgler:
>> ^randomize:
No traffic, huh?...
Well, when the questions sound like they were asked by a 12 year old girl ("who is your enemy?") it makes it tough but, gwiz gets roasted enough by real life without my intervention. In any event, I'm glad he found the courage to push imstellar out of the way for a few moments so he could suck on blankfist's nuts directly.
randomize>> ^burdturgler:
You're the only guy I know who wears boxers to avoid camel toe.
Surely there's a better name for that? Hoof-balls? Cowfoot crotch?
dotdudeHow 'bout Camel Toe FAIL?!?
burdturgler>> ^gwiz665:
Don't blame the questions!
Are people crying already?
Sorry about the downvote there gwiz .. I do love you.
You just don't call me anymore.
randomize>> ^dotdude:
How 'bout Camel Toe FAIL?!?
I lol'd
dotdudeDid we forget any other channels?
We wouldn't want to leave any out.
burdturgler
burdturglerSo when are we kicking off this roast? I've seen more participation on discarded posts.
I'm even recycling blankfist's old jokes.
For sucks sake, I guess I'll go fix a dead video and try to promote this.
50 members on right now and not one of them gives a shit about you blankfist.
You'd think after 5 hours more than two people would have taken the time to actually write some jokes and comment on your "interview".
Worst roast ever.
ReverendTedIt speaks volumes that no one even cares enough about the fool to lift a few fingers and type up a burn.
And don't misconstrue this as me caring, fisto - you're still not allowed within 500 feet of my house. (Or elementary schools, but that's a totally unrelated issue.)
ShepppardToday, we sit here, slowly turning blankfist over a fire.
Most likely it was a fire started by one of the flame wars oh so
many of his videos have started.
Thinking back to my early days on the sift, I remember watching
a one of those many gems that you'd sifted, Three seconds of a cat
farting. Indefinitely something the sift could not have lived
without.
36 upvotes to the video, which is incredible, as that's exactly
the amount of IQ I lost watching the damn thing. The unfortunate
part is, I didn't start off very high, so I'll either end up posting
things like westy, or if I continue to deteriorate, choggie.
In preparation for this roast, I decided to have a look through
some of your previous posts, Gems like "Fat Belly -(56sec)-"
"Graphic Australian Anti-Smoking Ad" and the ever lovable
"Crazy Acid Throwing Woman".
I'm going to be flaccid for a month. Your mother will not be pleased.
Then we have your PQ.. Amazingly, things like "The Dick-Gagging Comedian"
and "Poopie Poopie Hippo" were not sifted, The mind boggles.
That's two months of being flaccid now, Gwiz's mom isn't going to be happy either.
We've got some lovely pictures of you here
http://s259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/blankfist/Maceo/?action=view¤t=Photo5.jpg
see those eyes folks?
Those are the eyes of serial rapists when they see exactly what
they want. In most cases, these rapists tend to go outside
and fondle women, in this instance, Blank seems to have said
"Fuck it, I've got important videos to sift" and decided the only
thing he's going to fondle is his cat. That poor, poor cat.
And a cast over your hand because of pinky knuckle damage?
apparently chronic masturbation can cause some serious damage. (Wouldn't worry too much about blindness in your case though, Fuck Palin, i'm sure YOU can
see Russia from YOUR goddamn house with those fuckers.)
As I draw to a close, I wish you the best. May the quality of your stay on the sift grow better with each passing year, because we all know your taste in video's isn't.
dotdudeApparently some sifters are still lost in Roast IX.
burdturglerOnly two people lost there
and one of them is douche fist
I mean fuck face
I mean paul.
burdturglerSo when are we kicking off this roast?
berticusone thing you folks might not know about blankfist... i actually knew him when he was in the navy. that's actually how he got his nickname. every time we'd fist him, he'd just have this blank expression on his face, like he wasn't feeling anything at all. surprising, really, given the amount of blood and faeces he'd flood the room with. one time he passed out from the ..pleasure.. and we drew on his face with markers. afterward we felt so bad, knowing we'd crossed a line. you just don't fucking draw on passed out people -- it's wrong. so... i just want to publically apologise for drawing on you blankfist. you're the best fisting fuckmuppet we ever had, and it was really awful of us to treat you like a canvas.
all the best in your future endeavours mate,
hope the cancer doesn't spread and the fistulae clear up.
p.s. i would pay money to see rottenseed fuck you. that's not a joke.
p.p.s i'm going to spare the sift and not explain how you got your other nickname, "clotty snaps".
burdturglerI stayed up all night for this?! You're on my list motherfucker.
god damn waste of vodka this is ..
hey .. you guys ever watch "In living color"?
they used to do this skit with Jim Carrey and he was sort of a broke alcoholic dad and Alexandra Wentworth was his daughter and he would do a skit like for a local access tv channel .. preparing food .. "PORK AND BEANS!" .. man I wish I could find that clip .. because this one time his mother came in, after he stuck his head in the oven to kill himself, and she told him "Nobody loves you ... NOBODY!!!" She really screamed it. And that sort of sums up this roast so far blankfist.
Anyway yeah .. Alexandra was hot as fuck back then.
Man I wish I could find that clip.
How do I get that cricket to play on a loop?
alien_conceptB - Bender
L - Lame
A - Arsehole
N - No-hoper
K - Knob
F - Fuck Knuckle
I - Inane
S - Self-righteous
T - Twatstick
The fact this is all I could come up with is indicative of blankfist's serial banality. I know i'm not alone when I say that i'm hoping, praying and crossing all my fingers and toes that someone here will find the inspiration to crack through that fat fucking head of his and make him "do an ObsidianFire".
I think the problem is, he thinks this is just a roast, no-one really means what they're saying. I know I speak for the majority when I say that our comments come from the bottom of our hearts. You think i'm joking? I'm not. Why don't you test it out. Disappear for a month and see if anyone even notices.
You sir, epitomise suck
burdturglerheh .. you had me at fuck knuckle
burdturglerThat's my new thing from now on ..
listen here fuck knuckle .. you're a racist!
Just might replace douche nozzle .. thanks AC.
dotdudeAnd not a peep out of blankfist. Is this a record?
blankfistYawn.
[puts head down, feigns interest]
dotdude'Spoke too soon.
burdturgler>> ^blankfist:
Yawn.
[puts head down, feigns interest]
You and the rest of the whole fucking site.
Stumbling in to make jokes on your own roast to drum up interest.
We all know you're an attention whore but damn .. can't you let the roast go half a day before begging?
But seriously ..
Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?
Debilitating illness.
hard to find a joke in there.
Yeah .. HAHA! you Fuck Knuckle! You want to fight disease ..
sigh.
thanks again gwizz
dotdudeStand by Keyboard Cat!
burdturglerWell .. that tears it.
Roast over.
What are we gonna drag out next?
Hitler responds to blankfists yawn of a roast?
This is more like holding a vigil than hosting a roast.
If only there were more jokes about parsing data.
ugh
deputydogguys, i found some of his work...
http://blankfist.blogspot.com
burdturgler>> ^deputydog:
guys, i found some of his work...
http://blankfist.blogspot.com
LMFAO
rasch187The quality of American cinema hit rock bottom with blankfist trying to become a director. After years of starring in movies like "When a man loves a horse" and "Blankfist and the seven dwarves", he felt he was ready to make his own movies. After directing and co-starring in a number of gay midget porn films he got his big break and was quickly dubbed as the next Michael Bay in tinseltown. However, he fell out of grace with the studios when they discovered he ended most scenes with youtube videos of farting cats and the credits simply saying "a$$gr@vy". The fact that Ron Paul got a restraining order on blankfist for sending him used manthongs didn't help his reputation either.
"Blankfist: The epitome of mediocracy" will air on HBO later this year.
xxovercastxxBecause I strive to be an honest person, I haven't participated in one of these roasts up till this point. Making false, crass, juvenile claims about people, even for fun, just doesn't sit right with me. However, today the roastee is blankfist and I have absolutely no problems making true, crass, juvenile claims.
Speaking of making things up, blankfist claims he owns a signed copy of Amazing Fantasy #15. For those not in the know, this is the first appearance of Spider-Man and is worth a rather hefty $50,000. Now blankfist, kids of low self-esteem often make up stories to impress people with, but you've got to keep those stories believable if you expect them to work. Also, bragging about comics isn't likely to work on girls... this is why you're not allowed on the premises of elementary schools nationwide.
When you think about it, as a web dev, blankfist is really not unlike the <blink> tag: He serves no real purpose and anyone with a modicum of intelligence detests him and the people who associate with him.
Before blankfist met his GF, she used to spend her weekends with Ryan Leslie and Sacha Baron Cohen, something she's thinking she should have stuck with since blankfist prefers cranking it to
Ross PerotRon Paul's photo instead of being intimate with her. She confessed he recently woke her up in the middle of the night yelling "The Revolution is coming, Ron! Yeah, baby! The Revolution!" from the bathroom. She said it would probably be too awkward to go back to Cohen after the Ron Paul stunt in Bruno, though.
rottenseedIf you want a reader's digest to this crappy thread:
-blankfist likes little kids
-he drinks semen
-he likes being fisted
-something clever about the Navy
-a$$gr@vy references
-libertarian ron paul and stupid political non-funny stuff
-something unintelligible by burdturglar
-somehow choggie gets pulled into this (thanks shepppard)
-clever attempt to make your name look like an acronym (i told you chicks aren't funny)
...and the rest is just burdturglar hogging the thread
ponceleonAfter I saw the pics of him and his cat, I realized I had seem him before...
Blankfist is a pig killer from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome:
Picture:
http://www.thelin.net/laurent/cinema/films/tt0089530/14519.jpg
Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmlTGeKL4os
(queue video to 8:00 and you'll see blankfist)
alien_concept>> ^rottenseed:
clever attempt to make your name look like an acronym (i told you chicks aren't funny)
Hey fuck you, you haven't seen me naked yet!
Definition of not funny - Summarising already pathetic roast threads
JiggaJonsonNot only did he murder my father, but he raped my mother. All over a bad channel assignment.
RyjkyjFuck Blankfist and everyone who looks like Blankfist.
MrFiskBlankfist, the cheese-eating, wine-sipping, Ron Paul-felchin, Navy-buttfucker.
The first thing that sucks about blankfist is his L.A. residency, one of the worst cities this side of the Mason-Dixon line. He fits right into this pretentious asshole heaven by letting us know that, the first time he tasted acceptance, was for an "audience vote" his "second year" in "film school". This fucking douche-bag can't even make it five paragraphs without name-dropping, himself!
The second thing that sucks about blankfist is that he has a cat named Maceo. That is so fucking lame. Only cheese-dicks and 12 year old school girls belong to this club, although, it's often difficult to pinpoint which one of these blankfist belongs to.
The third thing that sucks about blankfist is that he thinks Spider-Man's web slinging ability is a power. Even fucking D.C. fans know the score on this.
The fourth thing that sucks about blankfist is that he left Kronoposeidon alone to raise their son. He still sends wish-you-were-here-sunset postcards, but he hasn't used his pay phone on Venice Beach to reach them for some time now.
Blankfists' one way of rebelling comes from posting cat fart videos as an anonymous user on a superb, yet underground, website. He is a tame conformist who is an essential member of VideoSift and I hate having him here.
dotdudeHey Roast Crew, the union contract only allows for 15 minute breaks. You can play your video games later.
CrosswordsWhen I first saw that Blankfist was to be the subject of this roast I thought, hey finally someone with enough material the sifters can really dig into him. But now that the roast has been going for almost 24 hours I can see I was very wrong.
Initially I blamed gwiz for throwing together some hastily written *insert roastee’s name here* jokes, and then posting it at the sift’s most inactive hour. Could it have hurt you to spend a little more time writing the intro, or was it cutting into the time you normally spend adding to the crusty tissue collection that litter’s your desk, your floor or the pee stained mattress on the floor.
But then it can’t all be jizwiz’s fault, the man did his best typing with only one hand, while fervently distracting himself with the other. I mean reading the comments we get what, an overly in-depth discussion of fisting blankfist, mocking his stupid videos, camel-toe fail (ya know adding fail to the end of everything stopped being funny a year ago), along with the required masturbation jokes.
But then who can blame them it’s the subject matter after all. I mean Blankfist, this guy’s claims to videosift fame are cat-fart videos, a$$gr@vy™, and making comments that’d make Ron Jeremy blush. How do you go about roasting a guy who has no shame and no end to their depravity? Anything we say can only be better than the reality that is Blankfist. It’s like trying to roast Andy Dick, he’s so pathetic and attention starved he’ll do anything. Even his attempts to seem normal come off as creepy. Most guys will say they love women, and the pussy that comes with them, but Blankfist takes every opportunity to remind us how much he loves twat. Its only a matter of time before we see a news report featuring Blankfist and several formaldehyde filled jars of carved up lady bits. And on that subject, a girlfriend? How and why? You holding her family hostage in that secret little room under your garage? Or maybe she’s just a really devoted sociologist who’s working on a stunning exposé into the world of the socially retarded, and personally inept. Either way all I can say is dear God run for it woman run!
BreaksTheEarthThe area of my life in which blankfist inhabits can easily be replaced by a cat shitting on my face.
vairetubeCan I have some of those christmas presents you all are finding back there in the closet?
I wanted to say something about how BF sucks greater than a new england clambake minus the muscles and smells worse than the space around both death stars when they blew up... but i dont know him and im not very clever.
I did make a better version of my pic exemplifying how Blanksfist looks like a broke down Rob Thomas, only instead of a necklace he has a comic book and a cat that both make me cry.
Someone should have him beaten with a tricycle. He is gay for moleman. He makes my crystal balls go clack-clack-clack.
And what's with this California Pizza Kitchen? If I wanted cheese and bread... (trails off mumbling to no one...)
You're really cute in that one where you're nuzzling your cat during treatment. You are a good guy. How many MPG's does that thing get on the highway with all the upgrades?
Seriously thats nice to do for your cat.... *wonders what else his GF makes him do*
No but really. UR a Stand up human. Cats are gentle creatures.
PS: Super cereal, you're a good guy.
PSS: If i guess correctly, you all just got roasted hard(ons)from the pics. Thank me later. Don't hate the player... unless he's QM.
dotdudePerhaps this question should be added to the questionnaire . . .
imstellar28 says...Moose-Knuckle... is the word you are looking for
http://video.debacleville.com/images/mooseknuckle.jpg
SagemindBlankfist, what a duck,
Forgot just how to fuck,
But did the deed as he spilled his seed,
Inside his pick up truck!
His date began to shout,
Premature there was no doubt,
With his penis flapping and balls a slapping,
His girlfriend kicked him out!
Hanging in the street,
Getting money for his meat,
The men lined up to the Blackfist strut,
Inside his private suite!
Blanky got quite sore,
When the men began to bore,
So he put some grease in his over-used crease,
And begged them for some more!
He had to take a piss,
Aimed straight though he did miss,
Did a dance, as he peed his pants,
In some one’s orifice!
Now, we all have to respect,
This lovable reject,
It’s quite an art to blow a cum-fart,
While remaining so erect!
He tried to film a flic,
About his private dick,
The girl was a dog and she burped like a frog,
And it made the audience sick!
He’s the “Monk of Drunk”,
He’s got the “Gift of Sift”,
So raise a drink, and give a wink
Cause we all know he’s an fucken Twink!
Cheers and Good Times Blankfist!!!
vairetubethis thread =
http://www.videosift.com/video/Truck-runs-red-light-guess-what-comes-next
and
randomizeJACKIE! What is wrong with you?
dotdudeShe didn't press PAUSE.
She didn't press STOP.
She didn't WALK OUT OF THE ROOM.
She just kept watching.
She just couldn't turn away.
rasch187The roast seems dead already and I don't feel I can blame the sift community. Blankfist is just a boring, one-dimentional guy. A guy who has to resort to flatulent felines to get attention isn't going to inspire anyone to write jokes, just to feel pity for him.
So who else have we got here? Well we got the Master of Ceremonies, gwiz aka. stalkerboy. The only thing he's mastered besides creeping people out and jerking off to pictures of his grandma. I guess blankfist insisted the MC should be an even bigger loser than himself and the choice was pretty obvious.
Speaking of people who seem to crave attention, no wonder burdturgler showed up and spammed the thread with his worthless opinions on everything and anything. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's amazed he has been able to write that many comments without going completely emo and telling us he'll leave the sift for the gazillionth time. It usually happens every 10th comment after all.
Rottenseed, better known as the diet pepsi version of blankfist, showed up just to show us how inept he is at writing anything original. Not a big surprise, I know. Rottenseed is blankfist 10 years ago and that's so sad words can't properly describe it.
Kudos to deputydog, the rest of you sucked. Including yours truly.
thinker247Even though Blankfist is not supposed to be within 500 feet of anywhere children congregate, he still manages. 501 feet, binoculars and a trail of candy corn sure does wonders for his social life.
Blankfist doesn't rape children for the sexual thrill, but rather for the pleasure of knowing that somewhere a mother is crying, desperate to find her missing Down Syndrome daughter. And because he likes the sound the kids make when they're gurgling salt water.
I heard they were roasting Blankfist and I thought, "Was he caught in Alabama again? How many volts go through the chair?" But then I thought, "Dear god, what does burnt a$$ grav33 smell like?" I'm sure his victims know.
Anyway, back to the pedophile jokes.
Blankfist fucks children, he does it with style.
He covers their mouths with sperm and bile.
Blankfist fucks children, he does it with class.
He fucks little children, from mouth to ass.
Blankfist skews gender, to fit his disease
He fucks boys and girls, and gets off to their pleas.
Blankfist fucks children, of that there is no question,
Except, "Who's next that he'll be molestin'?"
--
Blankfist's girlfriend is an elaborate ruse. In fact, she is actually made of three children stapled together. When her dress falls at night, six arms, three mouths and two-and-a-half vaginas are ready for his every sick desire.
Blankfist dug up the corpse of Stanley Kubrick and buried it in an Indian cemetery in order to bring it bac kto life to give him the secrets of pedophilia. Unfortunately, Blankfist forgot that it was actually Roman Polanski who held those secrets, and he only needed a plane ticket to France.
When Blankfist wants to feel dirty, he fucks an adult woman missionary style, and lets her live. Afterward he cuts himself and fucks a baby just to feel normal again.
Speaking of fucking kids, gwiz is here. Probably under the bed in your child's room. When they complain about monsters, make sure to actually check. But be careful, he bites. And he's covered in lube.
Back to the pedo-du-jour:
Blankfist has no life, so he steals it from children through their genitals. At least that's what he tells me when I'm selling him some Kenyan babies.
Blankfist makes Chris Hansen shudder, then wash himself and set his clothing on fire. oddly enough, that's the reaction most people have when they meet BF.
Blankfist puts his L-shaped penis into little children without their consent. Then he takes a dump and wipes it on their genitals in order to enhance his pleasure. Afterward he spits on the kid and dumps the body into a ravine.
One of these days we will catch you, you son-of-a-bitch!
Until then...
Blankfist is a child rapist.
Good night.
gwiz665Whine whine whine, yawn yawn yawn.
People are so fast to deem everything over and done with, because they themselves can't think of anything proper to contribute. You're all losers, you're all in-adequate. In a way it's sad, but expected. Except deputydog - he wins all the gold.
Rasch trying so hard to elevate himself from the rest of the rabble, wiping the "mayo" from his chin with a silky smooth wit.
burdturgler dripping with vodka, demeaning everyone else to make up for his oversensitive inadequacies. http://vangoghvodka.com/Van_Gogh_Vodka_Banana.html there you go, darkie.
jester_dotdude cries about channel assignments.. here's one for you *fail
alien_concept can't help but talk about her penis... that's right, we've all seen the pictures I took. I can't help but have a certain fascination; real life anime. Good times.
Even blankfist is bored at this, and lord knows he entertains easily.
blankfist, you're sorely lacking in entertainment value. You'd think that by now you'd have some fans or enemies here, that would love to, you know, roast you or something... I suppose the one interesting user here has been squelched... more than once.
I think I'll just go back to jacking it to facebook pictures of all of you to keep me entertained for now. If only I can last the full 20 seconds this time, berticus. (probably won't)
edit: couldn't.
rasch187>> ^gwiz665:
alien_concept can't help but talk about her penis... that's right, we've all seen the pictures I took.
QED on the creepy stalker characteristic then. Case closed.
blankfistThanks to everyone who participated in this fine roast. I’d like to take a moment to thank gwiz665 for his undeniably unsubstantial role as masters of ceremonies. His highest ranked comment: *sticky. I’ve seen more participation from an armless lifeguard. I guess he’s too busy stalking alien_concept. Fuck that creepy douche.
And I’d like to give thanks to burdturgler for getting drunk (or not taking his medication), leaving the majority of attention-whoring posts, and ultimately becoming disgruntled and embittered like the girl who couldn’t get a date to the prom but went any way so to not lose face. In the end, of course, she does lose face, and I think we can all see that to be evidenced here, as well. Burdturgler is a Xanax away from climbing to the top of a Texas University clock tower.
And to ReverendTed... Who?
And to Shepppard... No one likes you. The only thing I know about you is your depraved admiration for cops who taze little girls in the skull. Shepppard was that disturbed guy in high school who pretended to be allergic to soap and was expelled for being caught in class shoving unhatched bird eggs up his bung until they cracked and seeped back out. Looked like swollen cabbage vomiting urine.
And thanks, as always, to dotdude for facilitating these roasts and refusing to say anything unpleasant. Be a prick for once, you bastard! You’re so agreeable if berticus broke into your home and raped you, you’d offer to cuddle him afterwards. Speaking of berticus, has anyone else ever met a nastier more dangerous gay? I mean, if you speak more than two sentences with the guy, he always brings it back to fucking you. Berticus is to the gay community what Ted Bundy is to the straight community.
And, did everyone notice what alien_concept did with my name? Isn’t that precious? I was expecting her to knit me a sweater or something girly, but instead she made an acronym of my name. I mean, yeah, she could’ve been original, but we can’t be too tough on her. She does, after all, have a vagina. We should be proud that she has learned how to use a computer instead of covering it with glitter and trying to bake pies inside it. A bit of future advice for you broads: less talkie, more suckie.
And deputydog... I think we’re all tired of your douchebag self-portrait avatar. We get it, you think you’re sexy and you want everyone to see you. I think you may be trying too hard. Everyone knows berticus doesn’t care what you look like; he’d fuck anything with an asshole.
And rasch187, so glad you could manage some extra time to show up outside of your candlelight vigils for the countless choggie sockpuppet accounts I’ve instabanned throughout the year. Let me lighten the mood with a joke... Hey, what do they call smart people in Norway? Swedish tourists.
And xxovercastxx, it’s obvious the concept of a comic book grading system is lost on you, much like the concept of turning down your volume when a video is too loud. And, don’t pretend you’re above the puerility of a good roast, you big silly narcissist; let’s not forget the time when you roasted yourself (http://cult.videosift.com/talk/Let-me-have-it).
Hey rottenseed. Roasting. You’re doing it wrong. Take joedirt’s penis out of your mouth and come up with some snappier jokes. You made a list. A list? We’re not going to the grocery store; we’re having a roast. I am petitioning you to remain hobbled until you find your funny. Speaking of finding the funny, that goes for you, too, ponceleon, you unfunny bastard. You’re also boring and uninteresting. For example, ponceleon has contributed two worthless Talk Posts; one about Appletinis and the other about Hulu being blocked outside the US. Riveting. He is to a talk post what Nickelback is to Rock n’ Roll.
Am I the only person here who thinks JiggaJonson didn’t even try to be relevant, let alone funny? Something about me raping his mother and murdering his father? Way to bring the lulz, JJ. You’ve only just surpassed Ryjkyj who is not worth writing more than a sentence over. Done.
Look who showed up! Randomize! I have to admit I’m surprised to see you’re back after you made that pledge to leave the Sift for the VideoSift for Vampires. Did you grow tired of choking on your own masturbatory pretension?
And, thanks to the corn-husking Nebraskan MrFisk who, most people don’t know, has lived through a broken spine. Damn shame. That. You. Lived. If only we banned your quadriplegic ass the first time. It’s good to also see your sockpuppet account, thinker247, is here to take time off from his usual hobbling or Siftquisition. Damn, you’re so vile even your sockpuppet is in danger of being banned.
Sagemind wrote me a poem. Ass. Please read my above comment to rottenseed about roasting and doing it wrong. This also goes for you imstellar28. Why do all Objectivists seem to miss the point of every fucking thing? And vairetube, or as I like to refer to you: westy-lite. Your spelling is better than his, but... yeah... what the fuck, dude? Did you roast me or was that a stream of conscious letter to Santa Claus asking him for shellfish?
[edit] And Crosswords, I totally skipped you. You're probably used to that, though, being that you're so unremarkable in every way. Hell, I tried to find something interesting on you, but could only find this. So, fuck you for being too boring to make fun of.
Anyhow, thanks to all of you who showed up and gave it your best shot. At least you tried. Fucking douches.
deadgoonIf blankfist's brains were gasoline there wouldn't be enough to fuel a pissant's motorcycle on the inside ring of a cheerio.
vairetubeim still pretty sure i did the best job roasting you all but just in case someone missed it
http;//parody.videosift.com/talk/Blankfist-roasting-on-an-open-fire#comment-808476
EndAllgwiz just told me in a private message that gwiz is short for 'gay wizard'
that explains a lot.
also, one of the best comments directed at blobfart wasn't even made here
vairetubeuh oh looks like EndAll took a few unwanted spins...
ReverendTed>> ^blankfist:
And to ReverendTed... Who?
I just assumed you'd know who I was, but I forgot your mother disowned you after you sifted this travesty.
The joke here is that I am having intimate relations with your mother, that you sifted a terrible video, and then that you're too dense to understand the joke without an explanation.
Special note to blankfist's handler: You don't have to read this part to him. I salute your fortitude. Few people can tolerate the prick for more than a few minutes, so I can't imagine how unpleasant it is to feed him and bathe him and change his "adult undergarments". I pray you can stave off suicide until your court-ordered community service is complete. With a few years of therapy, the nightmares will probably wane. Probably.
blankfistYeah, still.... who?
MycroftHomlzWho?
dotdude*unsticky
Revised Roast Crew List here:
http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Roast-Crew-List-Revised
siftbotUnstickying this post from the top of Sift Talk - unsticky requested by dotdude.
EDDSo.. still got nothing on me, bitch?
>> ^blankfist:
blankfist>> ^EDD:
So.. still got nothing on me, bitch?
Suck racist westy dick you fucking troll. I tried to add you to the rant above, but then I realized I truly hated you, and that made me feel bad. Anyone who would make an 'unofficial' VideoSift last.fm page is got to be the most miserable douchebag I've ever met.
And you're also a condescending fucker. And you've got a man-crush on KP and demonstrated that to us not once but twice. And you're not loyal to those who are fighting in your corner. Should I continue?
Every time I see your username I feel like you're shouting at me. Seriously, is that enough or should I continue?
ShepppardTo be quite fair, they were Iguana eggs.
vairetubeWait, if you guys are here... who's watching 'Roadhouse' on CMT
dotdudeRoast XI is in Post Roast.
The competition for LAST COMMENT begins NOW.
I offer NO PRIZES.
You guys will figure it out.
OrnthoronWhat the fuck? I come back from a week on vacation and find the roast already over? But then again, who would bother to take time away from their vacation to spend on blankfist. I know he will read this anyway, because he craves the attention, no matter how deprecated. You can't really blame him though, when the only human contact he's experienced are his mother and disabled hookers. He did try to spike up his social life with World of Warcraft at one point, but it didn't work out so well.
The forces that be obviously don't want me to grant blankfist the attention that he most definitely doesn't deserve, as my computer crashed trying to upvote comments in this thread. I had to take a pause from reading the comments and play some Bach on the piano to soothe my nerves, which were frayed from a mixture of pity and disgust. I will go through with it though, since the image of blankfist whimpering, yet unable to turn away from his computer is worth some frustration.
He likes to chastise others for their sense of humor, which is a little tragical given that his own perceived height of comedy is copying and pasting the word 'a$$gr@vy' into his comments.
Not surprising, given his reputation among LA hookers as a urophile. He hates himself for this, and death by holding his pee is blankfist's idea of quitting his habit cold turkey.
I could write more, but this short comment should keep blankfist's fragile psyche in distress for a week or so. And frankly, I've got better things to do.
thinker247I'm bored. Did anybody bring the jello shots?
rougyLiving too close to my hand
Damn, the desire
That escapes me
To watch
But never touch
To wish with hollow feelings
And wait for the echo
of your soul
in the voice of
a perfect stranger
To wait so patiently
For something that will never come
Resting yourself
on the unspoken
Like a latent fuse
to a brave new world
Burning, burning, burning bright
Like a tiger in the night
(I really truly hate you)
Don_Juan says...Er... Who the hell is Blankfist??? Have I missed something???
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