Blankfist -- the guy who knows a lot of minor celebrities and wants to make sure everyone knows it -- has finally gotten his bronze star! I'm not sure why it's taken him so long, as he's been here for quite a while. I guess he's slow or something. So everyone congratulate him, but try not to use too many big words or you'll confuse him.

From what I can gleam about blankfist, he is a California-area prostitute who works the mean streets of L.A. He has a gruff, no-nonsense exterior but really has a heart of gold. He's always on the lookout for that one special John, the one who will change his life forever. Just don't let him break your heart, blankfist! Don't get too close, and never kiss on the lips.

So come on, everyone congratulate blankfist! He may have taken a while to get to bronze, but for a guy who struggles just to put his shoes on in the morning, that's no small feat!