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 by dotdude 
This is a home for farces, lampoons, parodies, satires, spoofs and any other possible combination therein. Except for items specifically excluded by the terms and conditions of VideoSift, anything else is fair game. JesterChat is a meebo widget. Here are meebo room functions/limitations. PLEASE READ: • Clicking button next to JesterChat: GREEN = ON; RED = OFF • Capacity: 80 at one time • A few warnings from others = mute (no one can see what you are saying) • “Ban” is permanent, there is no “unban” • Unabridged list of emoticons - most work in JesterChat, but some do not http://wiki.meebo.com/doku.php?id=emoticons • Meebo keeps pulbic logs of all chats • Room can be accessed through meebo Despite the video sifts firm stance on racism, the Dark evil has returned and it appears that the vidualent community members have completely missed it.
I was enjoying a cup of tea and watching some clips and I read this, cussing me to spill my beverage down my front and over my genital region. " >> ^Yogi: Not a Ginger Fan? that's becuase gingers have no soul" written by mxxcon Comments like this ARE NOT FUNNY I should know as I have been re educated by some of the most intellectual video sift users as to what is funny and what is not. I just feel that if we don’t nip this racism in the bud video sift will turn into some sort of YouTube/live leak website. http://www.videosift.com/video/Hermione-talks-about-her-1st-on-screen-kiss-with-Ron-Weasley I know some of these were posted, but I didn't know there were SO many!!
http://www.youtube.com/user/attentionn00b#grid/uploads Go submit the good ones NOW! Here is an updated version of the Roast Crew list, including additional sifters who jumped in during the just concluded roast:
xxovercastxx vairetube Throbbin thinker247 therealblankman Shepppard schmawy Sagemind Ryjkyj rougy rottenseed ReverendTed rasch187 randomize ponceleon peggedbea Ornthoron NeuralNoise MrFisk MarineGunrock laura kulpims JiggaJonson Haldaug gwiz665 gorgonheap EndAll EDD dotdude deputydog deadgoon Crosswords burdturgler BreaksTheEarth blankfist berticus alien_concept If I OMITTED YOUR NAME let me know. If you WANT OUT let me know. How soon do you want to go again? THE JESTER In true blankfist fashion, this roast blows its wad early...
I suppose some of you know this "person", who's been luring our kids off the internet and made things way too real for them. He's a web-developer, but he won't dare show his work a.k.a it sucks. He's got a lovely cat named Maceo, whose kidney's have failed because it licked peanut butter off somewhere. Blankfist has been around for a long while, but no one has really cared. A strong supporter of the Obama administration, he's welcomed the conversion to statism lately. Good for him that the government is paying all his bills now, since his work is sheit. He seems to be overly focused on sex, clearly compensating for something, but I wouldn't know. Must be because he's getting old and wrinkled. If you want to know something more about her, check out the questionnaire on http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Blankfist-is-on-the-spit-ready-for-roasting-on-monday or below. What do you do when you are not at the computer? File restraining orders against gwiz665 for being a creepy stalker. What is your favorite of your posted videos? It's a toss up between http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Flatulating-Bunny and http://www.videosift.com/video/Noooo What is your favorite video on videosift? Who knows? I really like this one: http://www.videosift.com/video/Doug-Stanhope-on-Nationalism How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they? Geez. I've gone through so many. Mainly Kubrick variants. I'm digging the new Statue of Liberty with the taser. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often? Crane's Inanities. http://cranesinanities.blogspot.com/ Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday? Boxers. Some of them worn down to nothing more than threads and elastic. My girlfriend actually has to goad me into throwing them away when my balls start peeking out like 'Kilroy Was Here'. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear? Probably close to 4:1 or 5:1. That's with a higher percentage of boxers to shoes, obviously. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data? Debilitating illness. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice? I don't care for sweets too often, but when I do get that urge I like toffee bars. There's an awesome Mario Batali place here in LA called Pizzeria Mozza that has a kick ass meyer lemon gelato pie with candied lemon zest and Champagne vinegar sauce. As far as my favorite "spice" it has to be anything spicy. I like peppers on everything. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man? Every bit of that. I love all women types and all woman parts. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s). Maceo is my full bred Oriental Shorthair with chronic renal failure. Here's his album on photobucket: http://s259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/blankfist/Maceo/ Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share? There are some in the Maceo photo album above. What is your most frequented source of news? I don't have one source of news. But, I do listen to freetalklive.com's podcasts while I work. What is your beverage (poison) of choice? Depends. When I'm dieting I drink wine. I love a good bottle of wine. A good California Zin or Syrah from Santa Ynez is incredible. When I'm not dieting, I also enjoy a good beer. A Blue Moon sans orange. A red ale can be perfection. Have you ever been arrested? Yep. Two DUIs. I've also been arrested for disorderly conduct (you know, that catch-all charge) for fucking a chick in a jacuzzi at Myrtle Beach. She also had a twin sister. Banged her, too. I'm a class act. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression? Eye contact followed up by crazy eyes. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug? Not balding. I have a full, thick hair. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache? I do want a burly, porn star mustache, but I'm clean shaven. I typically shave once a week, so a scruffy face is typical. List your five most cherished possessions. The Story of the Three Bibles: a history of my great great grandfather working in the oppressive southern mill towns. Amazing Fantasy #15 signed by Stan Lee. A 6 foot x 5 foot lithographic poster for Spider-Man 2 I framed and have hanging in my bedroom (nerd alert). My first film. A 1980s hot pink Powell Peralta Sword and Skull skateboard. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child? Protestant. Southern Baptist and Presbyterian. What about now? Atheist. What is your favorite memory? My second year of film school. Having my short film win the audience vote. That was a good day for me. Oh, and having sex with that high school cheerleader and watching her walk across the room while back lit by the TV was a nice memory too. What was your favorite childhood television show? Scooby Doo, probably. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair? I'm rather unpretentious. I like simply button ups and t-shirts and jeans. Who is your favorite Sift Hero? Is there such a thing? Well, in that case, I really appreciate KP and DFT and Issy. http://www.videosift.com/member/nerbula What goal do you have while a Videosift member? To never downvote a video since the Siftopocalypse. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation? All three. If you make me chuckle, you'll most likely get an upvote. Or if I find your political perspective agreeable. Are you a lover or a fighter? When I'm drunk, I'm a fighter. When I'm sober, I'm a lover. Who do you respect the most on videosift? I respect jonny a lot. Where is that dirty bastard? Do you consider yourself emotional? Sometimes. I fight it. I can be a very passionate person, but I spend a great deal of energy trying to overcome my passion and be more insightful and use reason to make decisions whenever possible. I live in fear like anyone else, but I don't let it cripple me. Do you feel you are the same in real life and on videosift? Haha. Pretty much. I'm a real harasshole. Approximate the percentage of time you work and you play on a computer. I work on the computer, so I play and work 24/7. If you had a time machine would you travel to an era in the past or future? Explain. Tertiary Period. Who doesn't want to watch the rise of the mammals? And those prehistoric birds, like the diatryma, are amazing! But, if I could go back in time and be young again? Well, that would be splendid. I had an awesome childhood. If you could choose your own way of death, what would it be? Death by holding my pee. What is your favorite kind of food? Cheese. What is your favorite childhood memory? Drawing comics on folded notebook paper with my best friend. Also drawing mazes and creating games on paper. What is your most sacred personal rant? The one I do every day. What is your favorite color? Blue. What three sites do you visit most often? Videosift. email. facebook. Is there really anything else to do online? Seriously? If you had one super human power, what would it be? Which ability would you be least likely to choose? I dig Wolverine's claws, but then flying would be a bitch because you couldn't go through the metal detectors. I'm also a big fan of Spider-Man, so web swinging would be cool, too. Yeah, I'd probably pick that one. I'd be least likely to choose the power of AIDS. What are your experiences with Mac OS, Windows, and Linux? Which do you use now? I use both Mac and PC. Depends on what I'm doing. Name five hot celebrities you wish to see nude. Jessica Alba. Mila Kunis. Evangeline Lilly. Keira Knightley. Anne Hathaway. Megan Fox. Wait, how many was that? How do you feel when it comes to extreme preachers of religion? What would you say to one if they came up to you in the street? I don't care for them, but I probably would just ignore them. If you were going to be arrested and imprisoned for 20 years no matter what you did, what would you do to go out with a bang ( or without one )? I'd probably figure out a way to leave the country. And, no matter what Hollywood tells you, the Mexican border is probably the worst place to go. If every illegal activity were to be made legal for one day, what would you do on that day? Pillage, thieve, sit on your couch and watch banned TV shows, what? I'd probably drink a beer while driving or something tame like that. I think most people would remain rather tame and well behaved. How do you feel about the different kinds of body art (piercings, tattoos, scars, etc)? I think they're fine. How were you introduced to video games? What was the first game you played? My dad had a crappy home console system from the 70s that basically had pong. It was awesome, but also crappy. I used to go to arcades a lot growing up. I loved Mat Mania and Legend of Kage - both from the 80s. What are ten of your interests/hobbies? Drinking. Fucking. Writing. Filmmaking. Watching movies. Jousting. Rape. Is that ten? What is your favorite memory as a teenager? Sex. Such wonderful, wonderful moments. List up to five movies you really like. In the Name of the Father. Star Wars. 2001. Full Metal Jacket. Robocop. List five movies you really hate. Practical Magic. There can be only one worthy of my hate. Why have you stuck with the sift for so long? Is there anything that has made you consider leaving the site? I don't know why I'm still here. I am completely fringe when it comes to my politics, so I cannot answer that. I have wanted to leave. Mostly because I tire of debating NetRunner. Why do you upvote/downvote comments? I upvote because I agree with them or find them funny. I downvote to piss burdturgler off. What made you pick blankfist as a username? It means empty fight. It's a name of peace. Nah, just playing, I just slapped those two words together back in 98 and the rest was history. What are you afraid of? People who are afraid of people. Who are the Legion of Douche? Lex Luthor2000 Gorilla Groddirt MINKestro Mauzzaro And once, Solomon Jonny tried to join. Cats, or dogs? Both. When it comes to music, what are your tastes? Rock wins most of the time. I love being nostalgic, though, so I'll listen to the cheesiest hair metal such as Slaughter and fucking love it. Are you a habitual cross-dresser? Ever flirted with it and worn ladies clothes of any kind? Just panties. Hey, I'm trying to emulate Ed Wood. What would your last meal, if you could plan ahead, look like? Pussy. If you could buy a single item, of any choice, which would it be? Mena Suvari's breasts. If you could have someone assassinated today, who would it be and why (if anyone)? No one. I try to not endorse violence. Who is your enemy? Statists who think the majority should tell the minority what to do. Who is your best friend/sifter? My girlfriend is my best friend. As far as sifters, that would probably be KP or DFT.... or choggie. You used to be a military man, did you not? What did you do? Why not anymore? I did. Was in the US Navy long enough to get them awesome government benefits and then I bailed. I was a Radioman: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioman. Essentially that's communications, and believe it or not I used to have a Top Secret security clearance. Why not anymore? Have you noticed my personality is not one of following orders? I was a not a good fit. Any injuries a.k.a "weak spots"? I broke my right hand just at my pinkie knuckle. I had my big toenail removed in the military and that damn thing never grew back right. My balls are weak. State secrets to divulge? State secrets? No, I try to not get involved with the business of the state. You're a web developer nowadays, care to show your work? I am hesitant, because if a client found these links on google and followed it back to this vile roast, that would most likely not be a good thing. If you were running for president, what would be your talking points? Which issues are important to you? Obviously I'd run on a pro-liberty, classic liberal platform. I'd ask people to vote for me if they believe in trusting their neighbor's right to choose his own destiny without coercion. I'd also promise to make Noam Chomsky likeness the new welcome mat at the White House. Which of your PQ'ed videos has been most unfairly neglected? All of them! Go upvote them all! I have 163 videos in there! Help a brother out. I thought this one was funny and was surprised it only got 2 votes: http://www.videosift.com/video/Hollywood-Pitch-of-Time-Dragons Which sift-geists (fads on the sift) have you loved/hated? I loved it when Siftbot was punk and had that mohawk thing with the early Bowie paint on his face. I didn't like it when he went grunge, though, because metal cylinders don't look good in flannel - it just made him look like an asshole. When and why did you join videosift? Instant poster or did you lurk first? Member since 2007-07-04. I lurked for a year maybe before that? Do note that if you participate in this roast, your name will be thrown into the hat and might be picked for the next roast.. ye be warned Greetings.
You are cordially invited to partake in that most painful of talks - the roast! Our most dearest of buddys, blankfist, is ready for your pokers and prodders. I will ring the bell on Monday and it will run for the next eight years, or however long Obama stays in office, or how long a sticky lasts - we'll see which. Roastee: blankfist MC: gwiz665 Sifters who are not already on the roast-roster and participate will be added to the list and included for the next roll of the dice. You have the weekend to get ready and for those who don't know who blankfist is, I have included a huge questionnaire that you can work on in the mean time, below. Questionnaire below: ... more inside ... I noticed a few Target Women videos on here. There's a lot more on here: http://current.com/target-women/ or http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=BCC4543D90EF62A6 ...
Pretty funny! I've noticed that the stars seem to be rather unfairly distributed around here. A handful of sifters have over 1000 stars while many have only a few dozen or hundred, and the vast majority haven't even a single star to their name. Its almost as if we are split into distinct classes; the vast majority existing in a state of poverty – beggars, killers, devoid of any meaningful invocation, and resented for their burden on siftbot’s resources; a broad, hard working middle class with a respectable standard of promotion; and a brutal, unrelenting ruling class who has concentrated all the channels and stars in their greedy hands.
It is for these reasons, that we as sifters, in order to form a more perfect Sift, establish a fair and balanced top 15, insure channel tranquility, provide for a common defense against trolls, promote the general queue, and secure the blessings of Dag to our ourselves and our power points, should establish the following system of fair distribution: 0-10 stars earned in the last year: 10% 10-25 stars earned in the last year: 15% 25-50 stars earned in the last year: 25% 50-100 stars earned in the last year: 28% 250-500 stars earned in the last year: 33% Over 500 stars earned in the last year: 35% The stars collected from each years earnings shall then be re-distributed to those living star to star, who can hardly afford to sift a video a week. I think you will find these brackets fair and equitable, as those earning the most stars can surely afford to part with such a pittance of their yearly bounty. Furthermore, in light of these tough times, I also move that we construct with haste a script to generate 10,000 new stars; to be sent out as a stimulus to help those in need of an increase in the size of their queues. By giving these lower-class sifters an fair start, they will have an equal chance at bringing themselves out of the sad ranks of the unsiftables, the un-starred and scarlet P's. A couple of sifters recently asked me about having another roast. Given the turnover in active sifters, in the last eight months, I'm starting the list from scratch. So, if you are interested in participating, please add your name to this thread and say "I'm IN."
All willing sifters are welcome!  DEADLINE: midnight CST, Sunday, June 28th, 2009. I will update the list as additions are made. THE JESTER Roasting Crew: alien_concept berticus blankfist burdturgler Crosswords deputydog dotdude EDD gorgonheap gwiz665 Haldaug JiggaJonson kulpims laura MarineGunrock MrFisk NeuralNoise Ornthoron peggedbea rasch187 rottenseed rougy Sagemind schmawy Shepppard therealblankman Throbbin vairetube UPDATED: Fri 6-26-09 6:00:08 PM CST I'm having trouble with the embed for a video from The Onion. The embed code comes up as being valid, but doesn't seem to work properly.
My post is here: http://www.videosift.com/video/17-Year-Old-Champion-Gymnast-Euthanized The original ONN video is here: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/gymnast_shawn_johnson_put_to?utm_source=nav Can anyone help with this? Some tips or tricks I could use? Has anyone else had any difficulty posting from The Onion lately? I am pleased to announce that the Talks channel will not be changing management in any near future. There will be no changes during this stationary period.
I've been proud to hold the channel for so long, but now I think it's time to pass it on to me. I'm happy to have been selected by me to succeed me in this noble task and hope you will join me in making talks the best channel it can be. http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2009/05/05/best-worst-star-trek.html
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Maybe..." http://www.leveloneboss.com/2009/04/south-parks-top-20-funniest-clips-about.html (NSFW too) from http://digg.com/gaming_news/South_Park_s_Top_20_Funniest_Clips_About_Video_Games_VIDS
"Who would have thought that after all this time, Trey Parker & Matt Stone's creation would still be (a) hilarious, (b) relevant, and (c) consistently brilliant? Here are The 20 Funniest Video Game Scenes From South Park on one page." Between (om nom) NOM's very hetero 2M4M adultfriendfinder campaign and Fox's Teabaggin' testicle festival, conservative PR campaigns seem to be undergoing a hip edgy and tech savvy renaissance.
Feel free to post your own Republican PR campaign concepts below. This is one of the ideas I've been working on: The Dirty Sanchez Anti-Immigrant Rally Are you sick of foreigners taking all the good produce picking/day labor jobs? Are you offended by languages that aren't English? Do you have a low tolerance for spicy food? Then join Sean Hannity on May 5th for the Dirty Sanchez Anti-Immigrant Rally. And, to prove to the world that we are not just a flock of xenophobic morons, we will be painting mustaches on our faces to show our solidarity with Hispanic Fox News reporter, Geraldo Rivera. "Michael Bay is well known for the child-like glee with which he infuses every over-the-top, ridiculous action scene he directs. He is truly an auteur, and the naive innocence which he brings to his directing can make most any stupid movie romp enjoyable. Unfortunately, hoping to cement his artistic credibility by landing that coveted writer/director credit a la Clint Eastwood, Bay also decided to try his hand at writing screenplays. And due to my elite Hollywood status as a quasi-respectable internet comedian, I of course had access to this attempt, and due to my shaky moral compass, I of course decided to post a few excerpts of it for you here:"
http://www.cracked.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/transformers2script_long11.gif (Robert Brockway's blog on Cracked.com) As many have heard, there is a strange injustice happening to videos everywhere. Apparently videos are being imprisoned unfairly as most of them are innocent and are active contributors to society.
Inside sources are comparing the travesty to the likes of “Guantánamo Bay” and Auschwitz. Many of these videos long to be free to again live in harmony beside their friends and family in on-line communities and channels again. Please help release these videos from what experts are now calling “Siftánamo.” A place so dire, that the longer they are in there, the less likely they will ever see the light of day again! These poor videos have been grouped into individual Cells now being called PQueues, A barbaric term that many videos will remember for the rest of their lives. Each queue is individually named in order to keep them secret. Help us name them all so we can identify these prisons and free as many of these poor videos as possible. Here is the one I have found, I’m sure that everyone here can name at least one of these deadly prisons. So Sifters unite and stand up and help release these videos from the dreaded PQueue. (List your PQueues below) http://www.videosift.com/member/Sagemind/pqueued |  Top Sift for Nov 7th, 2009Newest Channel Talk Posts  1. The new stargate on hulu.com (1sttube Talk)  2. Got Fired Today... (Happy Talk)  3. Top 10 Game-Show Moments [Videos] (History Talk)  4. Anyone into document management? (Geek Talk) 5. 15 Best 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' Moments (History Talk) 6. Vote for the best Sesame Street segments (History Talk)  7. Finally Saw "Moon" (Scifi Talk)  8. When movies are watched backwards (Cinema Talk) 9. The ZPI is a hilarious read (Horrorshow Talk)  10. Is My Profile Black & Blue or Black & Green? (Mystery Talk) Subscribe Video Hosts We accept video submissions from the below hosts. If your favorite video provider is not available, please contact us to suggest it.
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