Comments for "What's That Smell? It's a MINK Roast!" Talk at VideoSift.com

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:43:47 -0800

Hey! Where's my roadie? My goo ain't *sticky enough.

By siftbot

siftbot (http://siftbot.videosift.com) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:43:47 -0800

Invocations (sticky) cannot be called by jonny because jonny is not privileged - sorry.

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:46:11 -0800

Here's where MINK gets his, a bit late, had to shove wheat-free gluten up some hippie's sterile ass, and kill some game-now that that there is no game, guess we're eatin' crackers n' kale, you have some bitter Prussian bitch's mother to thank for us havin to suffer another mix and match, but that's a mirror's gaze away from where you sit right now, if you are reading this, you half-breed, genetically scarred wart on the planet's surface.....

So the official Roast of MINK had commenced...here follows a few opening thoughts, if you can call stream of consciousness ball-busting any effort whatsoever...

Firstly, some of the other users who chimed in without following proper decorum on past roasts only to find yer clever little asses thrown in the pool of future roastees??? That's yer dumbass, no rules readin', wanting to be noticed, luck. Get ready for the die to fall yer way at a most inopportune time, most likely when you feel really passionate about some issue you have no business touching, because of your grab-bag, anything goes, let everyone do what they think is right for them, sensibilities....fuck you , yer clock is ticking, and we may all be here with you now but wait until you have to actually open yer brain up to the chopping block.......hope ya like, foi grois of useless fat blended.....

Lithuania.
Otherwise known as Stalin's Fistfuck....yer real smart now, but just a few ticks ago, you couldn't decide yer heads from ass as it relates to yer own. Well, guess yer off the hook by now, you and every other ass-bag in the Baltics..it's a wonder someone with a computer and some time to kill, that isn't a complete wife-beating alcoholic, has enough synaptic wherewithall to be here with 2 cogent thoughts to rub together......Heh...ooops , sorry....we only have one asshole from there and he has yet to prove my wonder anything more than hopeful fantasy-

MINK fancies himself a musician, and has even given us a taste of something he feels just fine about....I listened to his theme-song, and his friends need to stop buying the shit Antanas approved for sterilizing goat nipples with back in the 30's, and try some proper grain.....oh wait, they used all barrels for bathtubs after 42'....

I have been told by the man himself, that his decision to become a vegetarian, proceeded his decision to become a vegan, after he had a wittle food poisoniong that took him to the next level, and made him face mortality at the hands of someone not wiping their ass....Is this true MINK? next time you decide to swear off meat, make sure you don't let yer girlfriend. cook for you again....speakin' a which....

in his questionairre, mink answered this when asked what he did when he was not on the computer....
"1. What do you do when you are not on the computer?

"eat vegetarian food, fuck a vegetarian, buy vegetables, that sort of thing.
And make music, but that's on a computer... so.... but I play trumpet... Into a computer"

So you hang out near a feedbag, copulate with Bossie after staelin' her grain, and hum to yerself??....that's no trumpet yer playin', it's a skin flute!!

You nall of late, well, some of you, have a problem with semantics..or tone, or whatever....lemme tell ya what it really is..Most of you were never taught how to derrive meaning from the written word....As a result, you hold some grudge against MINK for coming off, as some frustrated geezer, disillusioned with the sift, with life, with the world at large...

Get over it, you ineffectual meatbots!!! MINK is the man in your mirror that tells you how fucking ugly that mole is is from that angle(straight ahead, you can't miss a schizm like that) or how similar to methane in an elevator that last comment you pulled from Urectum was. He has a better handle on what smells anyhow, seeing as how all you poor sunsabicthces suffer from the many ailments that come with the ingestion of sweatmeats, and he himself, in all his rice-cake eatin', guilty-cheese coveting, politely cared for before being tapped for their juices loving, gonna live better than any of us because he don't kill nor go with those who do, assholes here.

Dude, you really need a vacation. Try Poland-Maybe you can find someone there that is not so pissed that they can't forgive you for your complicity with the Krauts...a deaf, dumb, blind Jewess, that owns a liquor store....

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:48:15 -0800

*sticky

By siftbot

siftbot (http://siftbot.videosift.com) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:48:16 -0800

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by choggie.

By dotdude

dotdude (http://dotdude.videosift.com) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:56:30 -0800

A brief reminder:

If you join in the Roast (comments, zingers, put-downs, insults, etc.), you understand the following:

• Your name goes into the roast pool for future roasts

• The roastee (in this case, MINK) is allowed return fire at the end of the proceedings

For those who need help with their MINKology:

MINK Survey Answers/Study Guide/Cheat Sheet is here:
http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Roast-IV-Begins-Monday#comment-309806

Recent moments in MINKSpeak:
http://parody.videosift.com/usercomments/MINK

Now back to my own research, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . .

THE JESTER

*scurries away*

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:58:12 -0800

I guess I'll pardon Choggie's tardiness since I know he must've worked really hard on that, uh, yeah, whatever the hell that was. Give it up for the chogster, and consider the floor open and MINK strapped down. Pull out yer pokers folksters.

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:19:19 -0800

Oh we have an audience now. Any of you lazy-eyed, slack-jawed chumps gonna step up?

By gorgonheap

gorgonheap (http://parody.videosift.com/member/gorgonheap) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:32:32 -0800

In the world of fiction and fantasy there are many lands that one can visit and become content in. Never Never Land, Narnia, Azeroth, and Middle-earth. Just to name a few. However none of the afore mentioned lands have as much believability as Lithuania. Why do some believe this made-up fairy tale land exists? Maybe you've seen maps, or WikiPedia says it's a 'real' country. Or maybe MINK himself has said there is such a place.

LIES! all of it. MINK actually lives in what is commonly referred to as a 'flat', for English chaps, and a 'crappy studio apartment' in the United States. There he waits for the BBC to show his favorite episode of terrahawks and crying when Doctor "Tiger" Ninestein dies for the 25th time.

There he sits with garbage littering the floor. A cigarette in one hand and a asthma inhaler in the other. His hair is matted and hasn't been washed in months, his whiskers ensure that even the lowliest of prostitutes that he frequents insist on him wearing a plastic bag mask. The only release he has from life is when he can go to Videosift and pretend he lives in the magical land of Lithuania. Where he pretends to make music that families love.

The poor sad fool. Should we pity him?... most definitely. Should we feel sorry for him?... Not really. Should we confront him about his fantasy land?... I could only serve to crush his spirit, which would be easy if he hadn't sold his soul to Hanna Montana for tickets to her concert.

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:38:12 -0800

Thank you for that enlightening beam of truth, Mr. Heap. And speaking of piles of garbage, I have it on good authority that MINK will climb out from under his once we've wrapped up. So let's not keep him waiting, because the stench is getting to be too much even for him.

By smibbo

smibbo (http://parody.videosift.com/member/smibbo) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:47:33 -0800

MINK? is that like.. minski? miniscule? no wait... thats an animal,yes? but i heard he doesn't like animals...wait, isn't mink that record label dude who only likes... uh... nothing... dang.. i need to go through his posts...(it is a "he" right?) i'll get back to you...

By darkrowan

darkrowan (http://parody.videosift.com/member/darkrowan) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:03:34 -0800

What can we really say about MINK. No, really, what can we say and get away with it on a public forum? Little it seems

Some say that MINK is a self-obsessed, egotistical, mean spirited bitchy little twirp. *shuffles around his papers* I guess I forgot the find something to counter that statement XD *looks at his papers again* Oh wait, now I see why. How'd I get some of your floor droppings is anyones guess.

Now moving on, I have come to find out some interesting facts recently about MINK.

- MINK cannot have children; Despite all the equipment working, should he ever manage to produce a fetus, scientists have all agreed that said fetus would in fact abort itself in shame.

- He has specially designed toilet paper that comes printed with diagrams instructing him on how to wipe his own ass.

-Despite being Lithuania , he has flown in to audition for American Idol,... twice. Neither audition has been televised, as the first consisted of a seventeen minute air-guitar solo, after which MINK whipped out his penis and yelled "Eel!" at Simon Cowell. In the second, he tried and failed to spell the word "apple."

That's enough for today, I'll leave him be. Not for pity, but because I have to go back to work now XD

By Zifnab

Zifnab (http://zifnab.videosift.com) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:06:59 -0800

I always thought a mink was a dark-colored, semi-aquatic, carnivorous mammal of the family Mustelidae, which also includes the weasels and the otters. Yet you *say* you don't eat meat, very suspicious.

I did manage to find a picture of MINK (he's on the right arm).

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:15:11 -0800

HAH!!! "Men's female!"

By Zifnab

Zifnab (http://zifnab.videosift.com) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:21:44 -0800

>> ^choggie:
HAH!!! "Men's female!"

Thought you'd get a kick out of that choggie

By smibbo

smibbo (http://parody.videosift.com/member/smibbo) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:23:22 -0800

mink.... mink.. okat... i am pretty sure he's that guy i've seen in the security tapes of Micky D's trying to harrass the staff into selling him a big mac disguised as a giant soybean. at least i think thats him judging by the PETA bandanna.

By kronosposeidon

kronosposeidon (http://parody.videosift.com/member/kronosposeidon) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:34:39 -0800

Ease up on MINK, people. He set me up with some sweet alien sex recently, so I'm in his debt. (That alien was a woman, right?)

By Arsenault185

Arsenault185 (http://parody.videosift.com/member/Arsenault185) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:49:22 -0800

What hes not telling everyone, is that he is actually proud of that pile of shit we all know as Lithuania. He just hides behind videos of their filth to give the cover that he doesn't actually swaddle himself naked with the Lithuanian flag, and roll about until orgasm (usually about 20-30 seconds, I'd wager.)

Other than that, a good Aristocrats joke Doesn't BEGIN to describe his upbringing. Of that I'm Sure. Which is probably why he fosters so much anger and calls us all retards all the time...

Other than that and thinking this is the COOLEST magic trick EVAR, (again trying to hide behind a wall of lies) hes not such a bad guy. I guess. IF your buddies with Stalin.

Fuck you MINK.

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:25:56 -0800

Nicely put, arsenault. Perhaps your gun-crazy, ban-happy, trigger-fingered puppet master would care to add a few words? (That's not an outhouse, it's the orifice through which a certain Marine inserts his arm like an elephant stimulator trying to save the species.)

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:29:37 -0800

kinna shitty no one has taken the time to subject you, as a representative of the defunkckt Baltics

In 2005, after the completion of a 25 year double-blind study, Lithuanians were unequivocally able to prove that it was all the Russians fault.Don't get yer panties and blue-jean seams all inna knot, kiddies, the case is closed.... We're talkin' all the world's ills here (Damn, come to think of it...there are no Ruskie balls on the sift to bust....you'll do, ya wannabe Baltic fuck!)

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:34:13 -0800

Anyone here not already drunk on MINK piss is welcome to step up and entertain us, maybe with a story about what a MINK does when he's alone in the forest.

By smibbo

smibbo (http://parody.videosift.com/member/smibbo) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:40:17 -0800

oh Mink is that guy (?) from Myth-oo-lame-ia right?
Yeah, the one who's always reviewing vids with one word.
MINK: retard. I remember now.

By Arsenault185

Arsenault185 (http://parody.videosift.com/member/Arsenault185) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:43:48 -0800

>> ^jonny:
Perhaps your gun-crazy, ban-happy, trigger-fingered puppet master would care to add a few words? (That's not an outhouse, it's the orifice through which a certain Marine inserts his arm like an elephant stimulator trying to save the species.)

Puppet master? You actually think I let him tell me what to do? HA! And though I'm just as sure as you are about his anal fisting, I can give you my personal guarantee that this one has never been, nor ever will be a part of that. Though I'm sure MINK would be all over some anal fisting. Hell, in world as shitty as his, I'm sure its a past time. What do you say MINK? Random anal Fisting sound good? We know a Jar Head who would be more than willing! (probably why he hasn't been around here to Roast. Hes getting his silicone fists and a plane ticket to Lithuania prepared)

By MarineGunrock

MarineGunrock (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MarineGunrock) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:22:13 -0800

No, I haven't been around because I was too busy doing what MINK could only dream of doing: Getting laid. Sure, he likes to think that taking a weekend trip to Poland and getting a few links of kielbasa to bring back home and anally impale himself on whilst watching scat films with bovine actors counts, but no. No MINK, while that may pass for intercourse in Lith-who?-ania, I'm sure you will find that world over, it does not. Here's a tip: Try hollowing it out. Sure, a typical polish sausage is only about an inch and a half wide, but that gives you a meat wall of about 1 1/4".
Wait a second - Is that how you got food poisoning last time?
MINK, you're not supposed to eat the thing when you're done with it!

Oh, this is eastern Europe we're talking about. You probably have to eat all the scraps of food you can get. Even the used sex toy ones. Pity.
Oh, wait. It wasn't from eating it. It was from riding it. He admits it in an earlier comment: "And also i never sat on the toilet bleeding out of my arse for a week after eating a vegetable. That was definitely the meat."

Now since this is a roast, here I go:

Nobody likes you.

By berticus

berticus (http://parody.videosift.com/member/berticus) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:53:22 -0800

I've never participated in the roasts before, because the people involved have been so unbearably dull that I haven't cared enough to bother. With MINK though, I feel I just have to jump in and say...

... meh.

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 02:40:45 -0800

where's the bar?

By Arsenault185

Arsenault185 (http://parody.videosift.com/member/Arsenault185) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 02:45:11 -0800

Wow, Mink sucks so bad no one even wants to roast him! MINK, go kill yourself.

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:40:39 -0800

oooooooh that's harsh...but true MINK, the combination of the last 3 roasts' effects on the place at large, and your magnetic personality seem to have sullied the turn-out don't let it getcha low-down....Bossies' in her stall, cooing...."Mooooooooove me."

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:08:46 -0800

nah it's cool, my popularity obviously overloaded the server. i had to employ an estonian hacker just to get through and post this.

By K0MMIE

K0MMIE (http://parody.videosift.com/member/K0MMIE) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:11:16 -0800

Ahhh roasts... the one place where personal attacks are welcome. Well I am not one to pass up an opportunity.

Unfortunately Mink is not important enough for me to do any research about his comments, or habits. So I can only relate against my experiences with him.

Mink once told me that since I eat meat, I should be expected to slaughter my own livestock for every meal. And for that I hate him. Seriously. It's a retarded fucking argument. Do you live on a farm and eat everything from the earth that you planted? No, and if you do... go fuck yourself.

I can only hope that you are involved in some kind of epic natural disaster that will force you to eat meat, and not just regular meat, the meat of your family. I hope you get stranded in an ice age environment and are forced to eat the butt tenderloins of your children.

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:18:33 -0800

musical interlude:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-776038940944934600

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:58:06 -0800

___________________________Page break________________________________________

By dotdude

dotdude (http://dotdude.videosift.com) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:08:18 -0800

Oh, *piss-boy!

By blankfist

blankfist (http://blankfist.videosift.com) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:12:20 -0800

Well, well, well. If it ain't our annoying Lithuanian sifter all grown up and being roasted here before all of us. Yes, that doesn't sound like a waste of time at all. Roasting Mink sounds like about as much fun as determining whether or not I'm happier Lithuania was occupied by the Soviets or the Nazi regime. Oh, I'm sorry, too soon?You really shouldn't speak so proudly that you're living in Lithuania. You don't hear MarineGunrock boasting he likes to tickle the testicles of other men. It's just one of those things that's embarrassing enough not to make mention.

So, who came in here to roast you? I see there's dotdude. Yeah, that's a creative name: dotdude. "Look everyone, he's a guy and he's on the internet. He's dotdude." So, when you're in your car, do you call yourself carman? Oh, and there's choggie. Yeah, always nice to read one of his incoherent streams of blathering. It's like god put some balls on a Dr. Seuss story and trained it to type. I see Kommie up there with his Cyclops avatar. That's nice. No need to grow up now that you're forty-six, you just keep reading those comics in your parent's basement.

There's Jonny up there running the show. See him? Oh, and look at his avatar! It's Johnny Carson! Get it? His username is Jonny and he has a picture of Johnny Carson! Oh, that's just clever. We're all glad you're in charge of this roast, Jonny, especially with such a sharp, comedic wit about you. Look, it's gorgonheap. Our favorite obscure muppet. Some people on here think gorgonheap is gay. That's just preposterous. It is. Gorgonheap is not gay. No, he won't suck a dick, but he'd certainly hold it 'til the swelling went down.

And speaking of "Poles", that brings me back to our Lithuanian guest of honor. [crickets] I never said my segues were worth a shit, people. Mink, you've been a great friend throughout, and I always find your comments interesting at the very least... especially after a night of tossing back whiskey. Keep up the awesome work, brother.

By Fjnbk

Fjnbk (http://parody.videosift.com/member/Fjnbk) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:17:15 -0800

What's the point of insulting MINK? All his comments have ever evoked in me is a profound pity and sheer gratitude that I am on the other side of the globe from Lithuania, the vermin parasite of the EU and NATO that only is a member so the Germans and Russians won't invade for the umpteenth time. I don't know, insulting MINK is like peeing on a homeless man or vandalizing an orphanage.

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:08:21 -0800

*canned laughter and then this outburst from the peanut gallery......BBBAHHHAHAHHWWHWAHHA!-fjnbk!!

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:52:00 -0800

Peanut gallery indeed. Let's see, we've got: a raving psychotic on the loose; a pile of trash so ugly it can turn a person to stone; a Sicilian mob baby that can't string one sentence together without having to go find her bottle; a middle-aged wannabe cartoon wizard; a xenosexual squirrel with delusions of grandeur; a puppet and his master with an overwhelming anal fixation; a white rabbit with nothing to say; a self-proclaimed lazy pinko who's further to the right than Pat Buchanan; a drunken Mardi Gras reveler in need of a bucket; our very own Ron Paul look-a-like/martyr; and a shriveled up hobbit that can't stop touching his precious.

And then of course, our guest of "honor" - one dirty little rodent that couldn't spin a record to save its life.

What's next? A droopy-eyed dog-girl with a penchant for youngin's?

Just what the hell did I sign up for here?

By Fjnbk

Fjnbk (http://parody.videosift.com/member/Fjnbk) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:03:33 -0800

Just who are we roasting now? Is this a free-for-all?

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:11:13 -0800

No, no - it's not a free-for-all, but as your MC, I feel it is my duty to keep things rolling. The roasters may take the occasional pot shot at other roasters, but the focus should remain on the eastern rat.

By dotdude

dotdude (http://dotdude.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:14:40 -0800

MINK has been a sifter for less than a year, yet he ranks 17th in human comments. He averages almost eight comments a-day. We are truly blessed with his prolific words of wit, wisdom and whatever else he manages to leave behind.

He mustn’t be too bored or he would have posted more than thrice during this roast.

As with any online persona, we are entirely dependent on what a poster seems to share with us. MINK is not shy when it comes to expressing himself.

He has great affection for the word “retarded” in his ubiquitous critiques of videos and comments. It might be time that we provide him with a synonym dictionary before the word is exhausted from such a workout.

His vigilance as a grammar nanny stands in stark contrast to his affinity for creative spelling of expressive words.

MINK referred to some of our sifters as hippy-dippy, yet he is the one who frequently tosses the word “love” around, preaches the virtue of being a vegetarian and admits to sporting long girly hair.

If any sifter is uncertain about the worth of a video, he will gladly analyze it with his “crap-o-meter” and render a speedy verdict. All you need do is ask.

So, if MINK drinks a beer alone in the woods, does his spinning record make a sound?

Well I guess I’ve provided an additional specimen to this little demonstration of arcs of urine. Soon MINK will be returning to provide his response. Some sifters may wish to seek shelter.

I guess this is what is meant by a slow-roast . . .

By my15minutes

my15minutes (http://parody.videosift.com/member/my15minutes) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:23:14 -0800

fuck. you are one fortunate motherfucker that my hard drive seized, mink, and that i haven't reinstalled photoshop yet.

i'd have you *french-kissing* that tubby wrestler, by now.

as it is, i have to roast you, using only text, and wit.

uhh... i got nothin'.
go fuck yourself, mink.

oh, and while i'm not on a roll here.
blankfist? choggie's kicking your ass in the avatar pic dept. hell, even jonny is.

By karaidl

karaidl (http://parody.videosift.com/member/karaidl) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:55:36 -0800

Quick! Find Lithuania on a map! Wait... actually, start giving a shit where Lithuania is! Okay, now find it on a map!

For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a country about the size of your nipple, inhabited by 3.4 million people, which, coincidently, is exactly the amount of Lithuanians it takes to screw in a lightbulb, and then hopefully kill themselves.

MINK is originally from London but apparently that wasn't queer enough for him so he had to go deep inside the ass of Europe. Just taking a glance at his profile I've already found that he's ~~a musician~~ gay.

Lithuania was at one time inhabited by Germans, and then the Soviets, which means that not only is it probably filled with drunks and more drunks by now, but the country must be something of a cocktease to global powers. Quit giving up the goods, you country slut. MINK is probably sitting at home right now masturbating to the idea of Lithuania's currency ever having any power. Can you find five items in your house made in Lithuania? If you can, why do you own five dildos?

</late to the party>

Thanks Wikipedia.

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:28:32 -0800

well let's see now, the roast is nearly over, and so far i am immensely proud of everything i have been accused of. well, not the gay stuff, because i am not gay, well not very gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just, gay.

So I don't have to defend myself much, fuck i don't even have to attack anyone else seeing as you've done that for me already.

I guess I have to defend Lithuania... but seeing as it was two Lithuanians who delivered the first transatlantic airmail, in a fucked up winged bucket with no navigation system, crashing and dying in Poland just hours from home, I can safely say that the entire concept of the internet and its reliability was invented by Lithuanians. You may now bow in deference.

Lithuania lost her empire (yes, she had an empire, fuck you if you're polish or belarussian and you think you owned the place) fucking ages ago, before the USA even existed, so why don't we come back in 700 years and see who's so fucking clever?

You laugh at her currency? It's pegged to the Euro. Go look it up, dollartards.
Lithuania resisted the Mongol hordes. You know what that means? If it wasn't for Lithuania, you'd all be speaking Chinese.
But now you're gonna have to learn it anyway because you're too stupid to elect a president with a functioning brain.

By smibbo

smibbo (http://parody.videosift.com/member/smibbo) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:41:29 -0800

wow

whoda thought he could sizzle us all with information about Lithuania?!
damn, I'm impressed. In fact, I'm kinda curious about Lithuania now... and I had absolutely no geography education whatsoever.
*applause for MINK*

By rottenseed

rottenseed (http://douchebag.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:21:47 -0800

*yawn* is that really it MINK? I didn't include myself in the roast because of I was afraid of your verbal backlash. Now, I'm kind of wishing I had contributed. I heard somewhere that the proteins from meat aided the development of our ancestors' brains. Do you think that's true? Um...you know what? Don't bother trying to answer that, here...just play with these keys *jingle* *jingle*

By MycroftHomlz

MycroftHomlz (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MycroftHomlz) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:11:08 -0800

Apparently, minks have an anal gland, much like beavers, which they use to insulate their fur from the cold icy depths.

No doubt, you, like your namesake, also smear shit all over yourself (albeit for entirely different reasons)...

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:12:24 -0800

ahhh propaganda is bad, unless it comes from the meat industry, eh?

well i was saving myself for the official end of the roast, which is... not yet i think. but soon. MINK will be back after these commercial messages.

By MycroftHomlz

MycroftHomlz (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MycroftHomlz) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:15:52 -0800

"1. What do you do when you are not on the computer?

eat vegetarian food, fuck vegetables, that sort of thing.
And make music, but that's on a computer..."

Err... what. You fuck vegetables. Dude. I mean. I know you like to give yourself poo baths, but vegetable sodomy is just a little weird.

Well, you are lithuanian(Does that county even get a capital letter anymore).

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:24:39 -0800

man the people in the back are starting to bother the help and steal shit.......wrap-up.....

By dotdude

dotdude (http://dotdude.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:47:10 -0800

*cue "Drama King"

http://www.videosift.com/video/Drama-King

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:40:07 -0800

Your know-it-all joke-stealing host is too hungover to say anything witty at the moment.

For those who joined in and made the effort, much appreciation. For those who did not - rot in hell.

Here's to MINK -

"Here's to you and here's to me, may we never disagree, but if we do, fuck you, here's to me."

And we bid you good night, good night, good night

By jonny

jonny (http://parody.videosift.com/member/jonny) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:41:44 -0800

*unsticky

By siftbot

siftbot (http://siftbot.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:41:46 -0800

Invocations (unsticky) cannot be called by jonny because jonny is not privileged - sorry.

By JAPR

JAPR (http://parody.videosift.com/member/JAPR) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:04:06 -0800

Damn it all, I got here too late. I was a little busy ensuring that the cows I eat die in the most painful way possible.

By MINK

MINK (http://parody.videosift.com/member/MINK) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:11:34 -0800

Oh JAPR, you're the fucking worst, don't pretend you "forgot".

Jus esate visi blet debilai nachuj, ir man visishkai pochuj. Ciulpk bibi blet.

Anyway, here goes nothing.

Big thanks to jonny for hosting the roasting so well, having, as he does, a sense of humour and theatre. (gay)

Much love to dotdude for the prep work, you care so much about this shit, you make me want to cry.

Shouts out to choggie of course, I don't know why the fuck we bother with these morons. Seriously. Why. I mean, stop the roast a minute. Let's actually think about it. Why. The. Fuck.

Ok resume the roast.

K0MMIE, do vegetables have eyes and a heart? You're the retard. Anyway thanks for playing.

blankfist, i just knocked over the wiskey bottle when i lunged to hug you. All over the carpet. But we don't care. nnnnnobody underssscchhtandz uzzzzz

Fjnbk, top marks for like, googling Lithuania and reading the first 3 lines. I know how hard that was for you... Like the time you tried to register on videosift as "Fred" but you just couldn't spell it. Anyway, know this: best girls and beer in the world. Less men than girls. And the men are ugly. Sleep well, so many miles away.

my15minutes, oh you're another of those who exploded onto the scene and got a frickin gold star in 2 weeks and it's supposed to mean something. Your ironic name is the only thing that saves me from completely despising you. But your hard drive was probably seized for child porn... so i'm back to despising you again.

karaidl, i was beginning to worry about your tardiness, quite honestly the only point of getting roasted is to be immortalised in a classic karaidl composition. But then, to my disappointment, I had to read scraps of wikipedia you knocked together in five minutes. 4 upvotes, wow, not your best work i guess. Still i gotta give respect for the majority of your output in this godforsaken talentless wasteland.

smibbo, thou dost pretend ignorance too much. nobody has an avatar that good without also having the wit to appreciate a bit of a MINKing. If you must know, it was PETA's propaganda that made me consider vegetarianism, but guess what, I read more and realised they are a bunch of cunts. But so are people that pay supermarkets to imprison animals. Your history awakening is interesting. Do read more, it's a great story. But steer clear of the neo-nazi shit that claims absolutely every significant event in history was down to Baltic blood sweat and tears. The wikipedia article was written by Lithuanians, you can tell by the grammar mistakes and need to convince everyone that the alliance with Poland did not include relinquishing sovereignty.

darkrowan, you escape my wrath, because the bit about American Idol was so close to the bone, i nearly wet myself. Get out of jail free.

ditto Zifnab, another sifter who isn't a total fucktard. I salute your 20 seconds of google image sweat.

rottenseed, another Sifter whose avatar is the only thing worth looking at. Oh, I see you donated to the Sift, you have the golden cup of Sifturbation by your username. Well, you know what they say, a fool and his money, fool me apart, your money isn't going to get fooled again.

gorgonheap, i see you went for the hilarious "lithuania is imaginary" strategy. But at least you characterised me accurately... oh except for the fact that I have a beautiful baltic girlfriend who tidies all the shit up for me. sux 2 b u.

kronosposeidon, a true gentleman, and vote whore. he knows what i mean. dontcha. yeeeeees.

arsenault185: awwww, you used a "tongue out" smiley, i guess that will make it easier for you to suck my freaking dick

berticus, you too shall be praised, not insulted, because your post, with its tremendously profound use of white space, and bleak postpostmodern outlook, plucked the strings of my heart and the loins of my laughbox.

MycroftHomlz... oh just get over there under the big sign that says "I WENT ON VIDEOSIFT AND THE ONLY WORTHWHILE THING I DID WAS UPLOAD THIS STOLEN AVATAR THAT'S A BIT FUNNY"

Marine: I salute you, because you're harder than I am. And you're not a total Siftard.

Notable by their absence were:

Lucky: the Siftard for whom I have most respect, not only for his technical skills and dedication, but for being the only person who hates me AND just ignores me without being a fucking twat about it. Saluteyousah.

Dag: You know better than to say what you think here, what with your reputation for wisdom and evenhandedness and all that. Well, keep sailing the ship straight down the middle, as an optimist you will always be happy, regardless of... well.. .anything at all.

That girl(s) that thinks we should all just get along, and who enjoys attacking me spitefully while complaining about my spiteful attacks: Awwww. You're cute.

kulpims: My east european fellow procrastinator. i know what you were doing when you should have been posting.

Farhad: my idol. The fact that he doesn't really show himself much around here any more is proof of my every theory about Siftegredation.

So there. If i missed anyone, it's because you're not fucking important enough

I feel the need to finish by saying that where there is safety, there is danger. Where there is peace, there will be war. Where everyone agrees, brains turn to cheese. He who reads someone's posts properly understands more than he who looks for his own opinions in other people's posts so he can upvote in a splurdge of masturbatory mouse operation and self congratulation.

I can't stand it that everyone thinks we should be nice and agree. I try to be civil. I just don't flower up my words with all sorts of passive aggressive pseudopsychological bullshit. That's why i like Lithuanians. They just say what they think. Normally negative. It's the only way to get to the truth.

So, I promised to uncloak myself a little, if I enjoyed the roast.

Well I kinda did enjoy parts of it, I guess. So I will send an mp3 link in a private message to all roasters here who actually have a brain large enough to comprehend its contents. It is from my NATO parody music project. I don't really want to link my real life to my Siftlife out here in the googlesphere too much, because me and MINK are not the same thing.

Try to understand, this is not the real me on screen, it's MINK. I don't actually care if you like it or not. Does that insult you? I share some beliefs with MINK, but i would NEVER be as much of an asshole as MINK in real life. Try to wrap your head around this. It's theatre. (gay). I am on the internet, not under oath in court. I know only about 4% of the SIft actually think this way. But it's true, some people have an imagination and they use it.

I am kinda sorry that my own entertainment annoys other people. But it also entertains people I really care about, so....

LOL. Fucking retards. Go look up "nom de plume" in a dictionary. No no no... a french dictionary, retards.

So, in summary, I am sorry if I actually was insulting to someone personally at any time in Siftistory, I really do try to stick to only insulting your lame ideas about the way the world works. I don't want to be meaner than you deserve.

In the words of the Great Chog, and Jesus of Nazareth:
"Look in the fucking mirror you fucking fucktards!"

By dotdude

dotdude (http://dotdude.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:28:57 -0800

Thanks for tuning in to the Parody channel for Roast IV. Happy Mardi Gras!

*unsticky

If you would like your screen name to be ADDED TO or OMITTED FROM the "Roast Pool," please post on this thread:
http://parody.videosift.com/talk/The-New-Roast-Crew-List

If you have any suggestions, observations or questions you would like us to add to the Roast Questionnaire please post them on this thread:
http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Roast-IV-Post-Mortem

THE JESTER

By siftbot

siftbot (http://siftbot.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:28:58 -0800

Unstickying this post from the top of Sift Talk - unsticky requested by dotdude.

By kulpims

kulpims (http://parody.videosift.com/member/kulpims) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:36:08 -0800

sorry, MINK, for not taking part in the roast - you know my Slavic genes don't come with a sense of humor installed. plus i was so busy procrastinating i didn't care to google lithuania

By choggie

choggie (http://parody.videosift.com/member/choggie) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:34:52 -0800

That's one more notch on the belt for my olde tyme religion...beats the fuck outta Scientoligism....

By silvercord

silvercord (http://silvercord.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:24:58 -0800

What'd I miss?

By rottenseed

rottenseed (http://douchebag.videosift.com) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 22:07:06 -0800

...more importantly, what kind of "dick-in-hand" virtual stroke-off sessions have been going on behind the cloak of "private" comments between choggie and MINK?